When I Was A Girl

I think life was a lot simpler when I was a girl. You know how children just expect stuff? They don’t sit and wonder. “I wonder if I should ask.” or “What if they don’t get what I ask for.” Instead they ask with great expectation.
I know that even with my child having every toy known to man, he doesn’t hesitate to ask me for whatever he sees on t.v. and he definitely has no problem asking for a new pair of Nike Elite socks.
The minds of children have their hands and hearts open with the idea of  wanting and expecting. But what happens when we become older? What happens when we experience rejection after rejection, disappointment after disappointment? Slowly that idea of expectation fades away. You don’t expect for yourself anymore. Those things that you wanted before become a faded memory and you just settle and believe, “Well, maybe this is all I’m suppose to have.” Is it?
You no longer want to hear no, or anything that sounds like it.   You don’t even put yourself in the position to hear any negative response. Why put yourself out there to be put in the same place of rejection and disappointment?
My childhood was filled with so many cool things. What stands out the most were my frilly dresses, from Polly Flinder’s, my pretty dolls and my amazing dollhouse that had real carpet and working lights. My mom would always have us cute as a button. Even to this day she calls me her doll baby. Though I don't always feel that way. There are days when I feel more like a doll that's been thrown away. You know, just put aside. 
Just maybe one day I’ll get to the point of moving past that fear of asking. I’ll truly expect those good things to occur in my life, similar to when I was a little girl, and when they show up I’ll actually acknowledge that situation for what it is. And in my heart I'll know that what God has purposed for my life only shows up when God says so. 

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33


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