Summer Reads For Women


 

Not Numb, Not Normal - Father’s Day 2026

feel at peace, not numb, not normal. 

Blah is the best word to describe it. 

I may not always feel it from the inside, but from the outside, the growth is there. Each day is a combination of moving forward and trying to not forget.

Tomorrow is Father's Day. I'm not gonna try to be strong. I may try to be happy, or I might just be just a daughter who loved her father, who misses her dad, and that'll be enough. 

And I'm sure that if the tears come, I'll let them.

 If laughter comes, I'll let it. 

And as I look at his records while smiling, I'll let that happen too, because the love for him is still here. His records are a reminder of both my father’s joy and his complexity.

Life has changed so much this past year.

It's just so different now. I'm not numb. It's just not normal.


Rediscovering Mahjong


 

For years, I thought that because I lost the instructions to my Mahjong game, I would never have any use for them.

Now I consider that maybe life removed them for a different reason. And that when the time was right I would seek the tiles when I was ready for them.

Because somewhere between surviving, grieving, healing, and becoming, Mahjong tiles became a quiet place of joy on my phone. The more I played, the more I thought my tiles that were tucked away in my family game cabinet.

Saturday, around one in the morning, I began to research individual activities that I can do with the tiles. Afterwards, I went to the game cabinet and pulled out a brown case, dusted if off and opened it.

It was if the game on my phone had come to life. My tiles are beautiful. They always were. The tiles never stopped being beautiful because I lost the instructions.

So if this season has taught me anything, it is this:

Open the box.

Try the thing.

Trust the timing.

Choose joy.

Bet on yourself.

Because healing has a way of returning us to what was always there. 

How long have I had these tiles? Well over 10 years, possibly 20 years. I’ve never tried to play the game or sort them out. At least not until now. 

Maybe I purchased this as a gift to my future self years ago and at the right time, I’d dust it off and explore my Mahjong game with an open heart. 


Fred Hammond: Tiny Desk Concert