As a new journey begins I have to reflect on the one that ended. I’ve used the words heartbroken and shattered soul to describe what I experienced within the first half of this year. It seemed to begin to come to an end when Mary released #strengthofawoman I remember the last conversation he and I had and I remember getting my phone out and blasting this song and that is when I really listened to the lyrics of Indestructible. I was living this song word for word.While I am far from perfect, the words that he said to me hurt deeply and I questioned myself for days and weeks to come. I had to reflect on my value. I had to sift through my hurt and figure out where I was. I was missing, I went to dark places all because he didn’t know how to deal with his pain, so he tried to put it all on me. But it wasn’t my load to carry.
It’s been nearly two months since that day and while I am healing, I pray that God keeps my heart covered and that I don’t go back to that place. The hardest part is knowing that he is battling a terminal illness but even that doesn’t give him permission to do to me what can’t be undone.
God sent a squad of angels to gathered those shattered pieces of my soul, to pray over me and to simply let me fall apart and cry in their arms.Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.
This morning I woke up a happier person and then I saw the scripture for the day was Romans 8:28.
Joy has come.
For that I’m grateful.Think about how valuable you are. Don’t let what he put you through cause you to close your heart. #indestructible #maryjblige
Sidenote.. I actually wrote this late Monday night but for some reason when I woke early Tuesday morning I deleted it off my Fb notes and I heard a voice say, "Blog This!"