Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Dear Whitney, I Get So Emotional Every Time I Think Of You

 

3.10.12 Empty Camera 177

 

I remember February 11 all too well. It is my brother’s birthday and it was also the day of a health and wellness event at our church. The previous day our church had a GoRed! Gala. Needless to say I was very tired when I got home. I passed out for many hours. As I struggled to get up later that evening I received a call from my niece about Whitney Houston. Now the need to get up was urgent. The texts and calls were coming through. Many I didn’t respond to. I was numb, stunned, emotional……

Only last night did I pick up and read one of the many magazines I have purchased in memory of Whitney. They are sitting on the counter for me to glance at as I come and go throughout the house. For the very first time as I read about Whitney not one tear dropped. Whew! The article took me back to 1985, two years before I would graduate from high school. I remember hearing her sing for the first time and wishing I had the courage to use my voice to sing. She was like a part of me that I wished I was. A part of me that to this day still stays dormant.

I was fortunate enough to see her when she came to Riverbend. Thinking back on that now, I just wanted to see Whitney Houston in concert and now I realize that I witnessed the beginning of an icon. One of my dreams when I was in school was to become a tour manager and to work with her. Now that never happened but it solidifies my adoration for her music early on. After her passing I had a person say to me, when was the last time you listened to a Whitney Houston song. Please believe that she is and has been in rotation since the beginning.

While “How Will I Know” is my absolute favorite Whitney song. My favorite album has to be I’m Your Baby Tonight which contains the song “Miracle”. That song speaks volumes to many life experiences that I was going through at that time. I believe that is what her music did, speak volumes to her fans. So much so that after hearing “The Greatest Love of All” in 1992 I decided to name my son Alexander because I knew he would be great and so would my love for him. Years later I would go on to name my younger son Xander.

I pray that Whitney’s spirit feels the overwhelming support of so many people who loved her so much and appreciated her. We all have flaws, we are all searching for the dream that makes us feel whole, and we all want to experience great love. In many ways, many of us are similar to Whitney Houston constantly searching out that which the Creator has already placed inside of us.

The music of Whitney Houston is timeless and she was blessed to be given songs to sing that will forever hold meaning. Since February 11 I have listened to so many songs and had so many memories but there is one song I can’t listen to yet, one video I can’t view yet. I can’t manage to hear her sing learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all… I get too emotional.

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