Not Cute Today

You ever have one of "those" days? Where you just don't know if you care about how you look? Mine was today. Actually it has been all week. I love MAC make-up and I love my Model Model Romance Curl sew-in. Today the face was blank and the weave was pinned up. I don't know if it is the new moon, the temperature change, or what. I just know that I have no energy to "do" me.

Now since basketball season is over and the school year is coming to an end a lot of things are falling down on me. I did get divorced last year. I did end a relationship this year. I did make it to 99% of the basketball games. I did make sure the boys had their needs met. I did a lot of things but take care of me.

It seems as if since January 2007 I have gone non-stop so I would have to think about the separation, the divorce, the end of my marriage. I hear what you are saying before you say it. It may not have been a good marriage but it still was a marriage. Ending it was a difficult process. So to not think about it I have just kept going and going. Well, guess what? The Energizer Bunny is beyond tired from all the avoidance of it all.

Not only was it the marriage over the years, but it was the relationship, the mortgage, the gas and electric, the water, you name it. It was it. So now that I have some slow down time all of my brokenness is right before my eyes in plain sight. What I see ain't pretty at all. But you know what? I have to deal with that. Raising the boys. Keeping my house together. Keeping me together. Keeping me sane. Being single. Losing the weight. Getting my finances in order.

Today was hard. It had the same 24 hours as every other day, but today it was really hard. Last night our church began a women's bible study. We are studying Esther..It's tough to be a woman by Beth Moore. I never really realized how much I need to be in the company of other women. We laughed, we talked, we fellowshipped. I pray that the bible study group is a blessing to all of those who attend and that we really do the work that needs to be done.

For me personally,I pray that I get it together soon because I was not cute today.

Be Encouraged
Lindar