What Type Of Ship Is This?

Today I spent time with some spoken word artists 

So, I thought let me drop some fire

Ok.... 

That's not necessarily true

Kinda but

Not necessarily

I will say this though

I have been nauseous all week

I remember thinking earlier this week

What is this?

Where is it coming from?

But I let it go for several days

Then yesterday came

It felt like I was on a ship

OMG!!!!!

I couldn't move without feeling sick

Then I couldn't sleep

Whatever was bothering me

I just wanted to throw it up and get it out.

Here's the thing

It wasn't food related

I realized that today 

because I became frantic

I'm texting my girlfriends 

I need help!

I'm sick for no reason.

One told me to pray.

Another told me to connect the dots

I was unraveling

It was bad

Therapy is next week but 

I needed a right now intervention

So I began to write 

to examine all of my previous relationships

Then

I saw a pattern

That

I'd never notice before

that existed with every relationship 

Out of nowhere a flood of tears

And a true cry ensued

that forced out the nausea that 

had consumed me

A friendship 

was causing

unhealed roots to surface

&

It came in the form of nausea

That for days 

Took over my life

Friendship?

A quiet voice echos 

the sentiments of several girlfriends

Is this a friendship?

Like, are you sure?

Cause

Ummmmm

You sure?

Yeah, I'm sure.

but 

Today I exclaimed.

I don't know what this ship is!

Friendship

Relationship

Partnership

Fellowship

Old Ship of Zion

I just don't know

In therapy I've learned

that when my foundation begins to tremble

I have to address

the issue

So

I came up with

a self-care plan

Cause

now I'm self-aware

that my foundation 

needs tending to

I breathe

I see things that I imagine

I feel like the waves

are trying to stabilize 

then through the smoke

I receive a 1Cor13 message

but

This can't be

used so loosely

Not right now

Not ever

How do you get to say that right now?

The more I ponder the idea of 

What is this ship?

I realize that time

&

space have forced

me 

to 

deal

with the roots of the ships

before

The ships that

left

abandoned

disregarded

took for granted

&

hurt

long before this ship

even showed up

I thought

 I was 

ok

I thought 

I was 

good

with the ships that had passed

only to realize

they may have passed 

but they were never checked

They were never told

You can't treat

me just 

anyway 

anymore

You can't test my

patience

cause

I'm high maintenance 

I never knew

to tell them

until

this

ship 

showed 

up

Now 

I don't want to 

play no games

play no games

I'm tired of 

the same old thing

It Went Down In the DM.... Well Kinda

Exactly one month ago I received a friend request on Fb. I thought absolutely nothing of it. Within an hour I received a DM from him. My immediate thought was, "What does he want? Why is he calling me Christine? He don't even know me." But then something happened.

The conversation continued for days and we finally met in person. To be honest, when we first met I was not feeling it at all. He was nice. We laughed but there was no attraction. So with that we had a good visit and we went on about our way. I pretty much thought he thought the same things, so I definitely was not expecting to hear from him again. 

However......

There was something that seemed to draw us to each other. Within days after the visit, we were talking more and hanging out more. The conversations centered around our faith and our families. We discussed our upbringings and our careers. We discussed past hurts and future hopes. 

We clearly had some differences but those differences made for good conversations and within a couple of weeks our friendship had begun to establish itself as a force to be reckoned with. We became safe spaces for each other to be our truest authentic selves. We both could be existing in the same space doing those things that brings us happiness, with me it was writing or reading a chapter and with him it was dancing around and bonding with his family, Yet we were able to find time for both verbal and nonverbal cues that said, "I'm glad that you're around. You're beautiful. You matter to me."

For me that was very different than previous experiences with becoming friends with men. Here is this guy really making time to get to know me, pouring into me, covering me with prayer and showering me with beautiful thoughts and compliments. Who at first I was like, "Naw, this is not what the people want." Now the thought is, "You two are perfect for each other in this season of your lives." We've both been through a lot lately, to some extent we both had given up hope in several areas of our lives. To be able to sit and have those conversations with no expectations of sex, no expectations of being taken for granted and no expectation of this friendship being hurtful like our past experiences has made his initial DM kinda cool. 

And dude a trooper because sometimes something will trigger me and my defenses go up and the walls circle around me. He's so patient with me and he always makes it a point to try to make things better for me. Fortunately we have a mutual friend who we get on the phone to assist when we really need it. lol Ok. Ok. We don't really get that bad but calling our friend has become a "thing to do" to hold us accountable and to make sure we stay on track. 

Self-Care Saturdays ~ The Oil

Do you know what can kick start your day? Essential oils. You can either burn some candles or purchase an oil diffuser. I can honestly say that I bought my GuruNanda diffuser from Walgreens. Yes, Walgreens. They sell diffusers and essential oils in the section where you will find vitamins. My favorite scent is lavender. However, I've learned that peppermint, tea tree oil and lemon grass easily awaken my senses. I'm getting better at mixing different scents together and noticing my reaction to them.

My weekend began with a scented vanilla almond candle and orange and cedarwood essential oils in my diffuser. There's such a pleasant feel to my home when scents are permeating the air. Self-care can simply be taking the time to enjoy the pleasant aromas of essential oils. Inhale. Exhale. Ahhhhh!!!!!!

Just Breathe....

Namaste

Fab Fridays

Where my girls at? From the front to back. Are you feeling' that?

This Fab Friday I'm dedicating to all of my girlfriends who stay fly regardless of their situations and circumstances. To those rocking weaves and/or their natural hair. Some people know how to do both effortlessly. To those who can't figure out how to draw on an eyebrow and just work with the arch God blessed them with. To those who'd rather rock a high fashion flat than try to figure out that their heel is too high and you forgot your footies and you can't seem to find your child to go to the car to retrieve them. To those who get overwhelmed with the CVS eyelash display and just stick with the 10-12 natural lashes that you have. (I feel that for somebody.) Ok. Somebody is me. I feel that for me. lol

I will say that I learned here lately while rocking my natural baby fro. Being your most natural self can be rewarding if you rock it how you like it. I love me some weaves but it's something about J. Cole rapping, "Now, is it real? Eyebrows, fingernails, hair. Is it real?" Yaasssss!!! It all is!!!!!

Oh, but wait. Even if those things aren't real we are still fearfully and wonderfully made. Never ever forget that. God made no mistakes when he made you.

Namaste

Have A Fab Friday

Morning Manna 8.26.19 ~ Free Yourself

Good Morning Everyone.

Can we just thank God for another Monday? Another day to get it right and to live out God’s plan for our lives?

Before we get started, I want to shout our pastor, Dr. Pastor Mike Vincent Scruggs who went up north this past weekend and preached 4 sermons in two cities in two days. We now have to ask ourselves what are we not doing for the kingdom? He has definitely set a new bar for us. I wasn’t even there and I wanted to yell,  Preach Mike!! 

If you haven’t seen pics from this weekend or the sermon from yesterday go and check out his social media pages. 

Also, can we thank Pastor Michael Johnson for the word on yesterday? "I Belong Here". I was so taken by his message that I’ve asked for other people’s notes, asked him to email me his sermon notes, and requested the recording because he definitely gave us a different perspective of the story of Ruth and Boaz. He tied it to worth,  the Manufactures Suggested Retail Price and my girl Fantasia. We all know that famous course, “If you don’t want me then don’t talk to me. Go ahead, and free yourself.” 

For a few minutes this morning I’m going to speak on the subject “Free Yourself”.

Whenever the Prophetess Fantasia comes on my Pandora account, I go in like most non singers. One of my favorite lyrics to that songs simply says, “If you’re not happy then you’re free to go on.” 

You see we can’t tell the story of Ruth and Boaz, of Ruth and Naomi without telling the story of Naomi, Ruth and Orpah who were both Naomi’s daughter-in-laws. What makes this story interesting is that both Ruth and Orpah could have journeyed on with their mother-in-law, but Orpah decided that she was ready to go back to what she knew and what was comfortable to her. 

We see in Ruth 1:14 “At this they wept aloud again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her.”

Ruth 1:15 “Look,” said Naomi, “your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her.”

Ruth 1:16 But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my god. 

Might I just say to everyone on the line that in order for you to go to where God wants you to go to do those things, He’s purposed you to do that it just may be time to free yourself. Free yourself from people who see your wrong, from people who want from you but do not want to give. If we kind out look at the story Orpah found value in Naomi when she was married to her son but now that he was no longer alive Orpah was ready to leave and go back home. Naomi was useless to her. But then there’s Ruth who said, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go, I go.” 

Those are the kind of people we need in this season. Where you gonna go, I’m going. If you riding to that conference, I’m going too. If you are starting that company, I’m gonna help you promote it and grow it. If your reading that Bible plan, I am too. 

Free yourself of those people who don’t know your worth, who don’t value you and who don’t see you properly. Free yourself of people who don’t believe God’s word. Free yourself of people who only want to see you a light that is of benefit to them. 

The songwriter said, “I’ll never know how much it cost, to see my sin upon that cross.” If there’s one thing that we know for sure it's that Jesus paid it all. 

Let's pray.

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Solange - Dreams (Official Audio)

How Do You Know When Your Chapter or Book Is Finished?

How do you know when your chapter is finished?

Once you're clear that all of your thoughts are out about the subject of the chapter and you're ready to move to the next topic (or situation if it's a novel).

How do you do when your book is finished?

It's really good to outline before you write, or use bullet points. That way you have a reference to check off that you included all that you want to convey to your audience.

Keep in mind that once you're finished and you read through your manuscript you may have an "aha moment" where you decide to add more information to your chapters. You also may decide to delete some things also.

I hope that answers your questions.

Love Conquers | Eric Thomas

Heart Spills from Diligently

Inhale. Exhale. Whew!! Cue up When I Get Home by Solange.

Today makes nine months since I suffered a stroke. Nine months? The number nine is symbolic to giving birth, to something coming forward. This has been a journey that I didn’t expect but one that I have totally embraced as the months have come and gone. I’m now ready for many areas of my life to come forth and bloom, inclusive of growing my brand LindarInsights and my ministry Arlinda Christine Ministries. 

I’ve often reflected on November 5, 2018 and all of the appointments, prescriptions and mindsets that I had to manage and acknowledge. In my upcoming book Diligently there is a section, entitled Heart Spills, where I give some thoughts that may be helpful to others in their times of crisis.

Heart Spills

            I was 48 and an active mommy; I was eating correctly, losing weight and keeping up with my biometrics. I was working hard at keeping my numbers low and I still had a stroke. This is my heart spill that I pray is helpful to others:

• Know the signs of a stroke.
• Keep your phone charged at all times.
• Set up medical information in your phone that can be reached even if your phone is locked.
• At the sign of an emergency, get help ASAP.
• Know yourself well enough to know when you are in a crisis.
• Follow all of your doctor’s orders.
• Keep up with all of your doctor’s appointments.
• Know your medication’s name and dosage.
• Keep your squad informed about what’s going on with you.
• When you don’t feel well, say it.
• Practice self-care.
• Practice mindfulness.
• Meditate.
• Keep a journal; write when you feel your best.
• Complete therapy.
• Know what activities calm your spirit.
• This above all, to thine own self be true.
• Trust God.