8 Months - Grief & New Beginnings

    It was a night like tonight when we loss our father, grandfather and my mother's husband of over 50 years. For me it's been 8 months of trying to balance many aspects of my life, including grief, and honoring my father. Somedays it's hard to get up and be productive. Somedays, I lay in the bed most of the day and scroll, sleep or let my mind wander.

    Sometimes, I think I'm getting better one minute and the next minute, I'm curled up in a ball. The hardest part was that it was totally unexpected and we didn't get to say goodbye in the way that we thought we would. It's been rough thinking about how he passed. My dad fought prostate cancer for 20 years and yet that wasn't his cause of death.  As we read the coroner's report, it felt like the wind was taken out of us. He went to doctor faithfully and followed instructions thoroughly. In that moment it felt unfair or was it just us being selfish? Maybe a mixture of both.

    Today makes the 8th month since he's been gone. 8 means new beginnings. I guess I'm finding that new beginning can be hard and depressing, yet also an opportunity to implement what my father taught us and to carry on legacy.

Eight Months Later

It’s been eight months,

and we’ve learned how to carry the silence.

Not because it got easier—

but because we’ve grown around the ache.

There are days we laugh now.

There are days we move freely.

But there are also days, like today,

where we feel it all again—

as if no time has passed at all.

Eight months ago, the world lost you.

But we never did.

You are still ours

Still loved.

Still remembered.

Still here—in every breath we take through the pain.