Release

Today I came straight to my parent’s home to watch part 2 of Oprah Winfrey’s interview with Whitney Houston. I was so moved by Whitney’s honesty to the questions that were asked to her. Of everything that was shared in this interview the one aspect that stayed with me was when Whitney talked about feeling a sense of release.

Think about that for a minute. Release! If I am holding a pencil and I release it, it falls from me. The pencil and I are no longer attached. The only way that I get the pencil back is if I pick it up. The pencil can’t come back to me unless I allow it to. Wow!

After the interview we move to the studio audience, where we are blessed with the singing of Whitney Houston. She sung a song that I hold dear to me. I am calling it the song! “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength” is for anyone who has faced adversity. This is a song that ministers to self. I cried as they spoke about the song, I cried when she sang the song, and I cried when I heard it again on the radio on the way home, while listening to CoCo Brother.

Personally, there have been days when I didn’t know where my strength was going to come from. Between meeting the needs of my sons, my home and my needs there have been many days when I thought I would crumble and fall. As I try and find balance with everything in our lives and dealing with personal pain I find myself at times slipping into the darkness and I can feel God pulling me along. Even on days when I don’t feel like being pulled along. Each day I feel God strengthening me to press on.

My mother often tells me that she doesn’t know how I made it through the past several years. A master’s degree, a teenage son, a marriage, a newborn, a new house, a demanding teaching job, and a divorce. But God…. I have stayed in prayer and I have kept my family in church. That how I have managed. Real talk!

Oprah Winfrey’s interview with Whitney has touched on something. After the show I logged onto Facebook. There were several comments from women who stated that they were in tears. Whitney’s story is identifiable and heartfelt. For her to share that with Oprah and us, I believe was a message straight from heaven.

I felt a release today. I have no regrets. I have a beautiful life and beautiful sons. If it took for me to experience what I have experienced for other women to have a voice and for my children to exist, then that was how it had to be. I firmly realize that since I have truly released it, I can’t go back to it. Even if it tries to come back to me.

Feeling like a Million Dollar Bill
Lindar