In the movie Notorious there is a scene when B.I.G. is sitting with his daughter and he receives a phone call. In that call he makes some negative comments to one of his love interests. He then looks at his daughter and realizes that he has to tell her something important. Some information that will help her in dealing with men.
He puts his daughter on his lap and tells her to never let a man call her a b.... Wow! That was one of those moments when I began to reflect on my relationships with men. I don't know if I have one of those memories where I was told, by my father, that being called a b.... was not a good thing to do. I am not saying that he didn't. I am saying that I do not remember.
Over the years I have been involved in relationships where I was not valued. If I did not do something the other person wanted I was either a b.... or I was acting like one. That scene from the movie has stayed with me all tonight, and into the early morning, as I really think about particular situations I have been in. By being called a b.... have I allowed men to come into my life and chip away at my self-worth, my self-confidence to the point that I am numb to being called such names.
I share my blog with others, friends and family alike, and in doing so I become transparent and brutally honest about my experiences. I don't know how that will sit. But on my road to recovery from dealing with men who come into my life and crushed my heart and my soul I have to get it, the pain, the hurt and the frustration, out. I remember sitting down with my aunt one evening. She told me that my experiences, with men, were not for me but for someone else. I am now ready to go and speak about my life. I know that I was put here for a reason, my purpose has been established.
I am not a bitch. I am not dumb and stupid. I am not fake nor phony. I am my parents' daughter. I am my sons' mother. I am attractive, smart, beautiful, and intelligent. I am a writer, a thinker, and a very creative soul. No longer will I settle for any man who will refer to me as anything but wonderful.
Be Blessed
Lindar
The bible says you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are the head and not the tail. You are above and not beneath. You come behind in no good thing. You are a King's kid. You belong to Jesus, and He loved you so much that He died for you. You don't need any rocks to tell you about forgiveness. God says to put all likenesses of wickedness away from you. Throw those rocks in the river, and pick up the Word of God. That is your weapon. In the Lord's prayer he says ,"and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." That means as we ask God to forgive us it is conditioned upon the reality of our forgiving all of those who have wronged us. Go deeper in Jesus, and fall in love with Him. He's the lover who will never leave you nor forsake you!
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is so important. Not only for the person who caused the pain but for myself also. Often times I feel as if we forget to forgive ourselves and say to self "it's okay, you'll be okay". On my path I am reading and studying the Bible more and learning to truly and completely trust God. I am striving to live a Romans 8:28 life.
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