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He Doesn't Require It

I remember the message on my birthday. We always tell each other "Happy Birthday." We have deviated from that since we met about 8 years ago at my church. I thought nothing of it. Then I received another message, "Can I take you out for a drink?" I immediately looked up to heaven and said, "God? Really? You would have a man ask me out after I done had a whole stroke?" And my response to the offer to hang out with my Facebook friend. Ummm.... Issa no for me.

I don't drink. Bars are not my thing but I appreciated the offer. He didn't let up but he also didn't press the issue. We did exchange numbers and kinda went from there. I immediate learned that he had an incredible sense of humor and whether we texted or talked it was a lot of fun. Now, I have a slight problem sometimes. If I think that you may have something going on in your life that doesn't gel with me, I delete you off social media and I keep it pushing. I don't text or call. I throw up an invisible peace sign. I don't give you an opportunity to speak your peace either. What can I say? I'm working on me.

Months go by and one day I'm reading a book and I hear a still soft spirit tell me to reach out to him. I did, earlier this month. Then I hear the same voice tell me, "Let it be what it's going to be." We are now communicating a tad more and then he asked to see me. Initially, I said no, for a variety of reasons. I had a lot going on that morning. After I told him no, several things that I had to do cancelled themselves out. I reached out and told him my plans had changed.

So, how did the visit go? It was a dream come true honestly. For days before seeing him I had a dreams about him. Those dreams involved me having a peaceful interaction and him being a comfort and protector to me. When we met I told him about my hesitations to seeing him and being completely honest with letting him know about me abstaining from sensual relationships. It was a truly peaceful moment for me and his response to our conversation was the protection. He told me that he'd always respect my decision to abstain.

This visit is going super well and then something happen. I heard him sing and I was floored. The next time I saw him and he was singing again. He was sitting down and I remember I was standing and as his beautiful voice belted out beautiful note after note, I didn't want to move. I didn't want to disturb the molecular structure of the moment. 

We communicate more now. I pushed him away months ago without thinking it through. All of the things I was worried about, he doesn't require those things of me. He checks on me, expresses concern for me, makes me laugh a lot and blows me away with a vocal gift straight from God.

Whenever he sings Jealous, by Labrinth, it requires my full attention each and every time.

My Most Authentic Self

This weekend hanging out in the Columbus area was way more than expected. I stayed at my favorite hotel, Nationwide Hotel and Conference Center. I was first introduced to this hotel when it was booked for a travel basketball team several years ago. It was also here that I realized what my next couch would resemble. The serenity of this place is so inviting. It seemed only right to stay there this weekend. 

On the way to the game, on Sunday, we stopped at Smoothie King so that I could have a Carrot Kale Dream Smoothie. As I waited I purchased a bag of sweet potato chips and a bag of apple chips. Driving on High Street to I-270 I had a thought. I felt my most authentic self in that moment. I was rocking my natural hair, drinking a smoothie and I had some sweet potato chips. I was feeling myself for real. I was being who I truly am, enjoying what makes me feel good and I loved it!!!

A King Parlor Room For A Princess

I love kale and this smoothie is about all I ever order.

On my road to healing, apples and sweet potatoes have been instrumental. 

Natural State Of Mind ~ Design Essentials

Saturday we were set to leave for a basketball tournament in New Albany, Ohio. I am truly a person of impulse because with two hours before our leave time I decided to take down my sew-in that I had had in way too long. Way. Too. Long. 

I'm taking it down and I was struggling because it was matted, tangled and a whole situation but I had to get it out and I did. Since my son was driving I used that time to untangle and air dry. What I hadn't planned on was the dryness of my hair. The products that I had used when I wore my natural hair last fall wasn't cutting it at all. However I was a trooper and I had a cute scarf and headwrap with me. They both matched my outfits for the weekend and my makeup was cute too, so I wasn't too worried.

Well.. that's not necessary true. I have a friend, Melissa, and she has never seen my natural hair so I had to warn her. I texted her, "So... today you'll see my hair. It's a whole short, thin, matted mood. lol I just wanted to forewarn you."

She responded, "Okay! Lol!! I'm sure it's not that bad. We are always hardest on ourselves."

She's so kind. We're sitting on the bleachers, preparing to see our sons play against each other, and we  discuss my hair. I told her that it was so dry. Then I went straight natural lingo and discussed shrinkage because you have to talk curl patterns, shrinkage and stuff to be natural hair cool. You just have to. In this conversation she drops a nugget, I'm in buzzword mode at some point I might say "unpack" just watch. 

Melissa told me to try Design Essentials Almond & Avocado Curl Enhancing Mousse. She uses it herself and assured me that it would help alleviate the dryness that I was experiencing. On Sunday I drove to the Sally's on Morse Road. Before I go any farther I have to share that the staff at this location was AMAZING! They greeted me at the door and knew exactly where a product was located  upon request. They were nice, full of energy and they had a presence that assured you that they knew about all of the products in the store. I was in awe. 

Prior to going to Sally's I did some research on Design Essentials. They have a tab on their website entitled Hair ID. So, I looked to see which one best reflects my hair and I learned so much about my hair and it was so refreshing. I had a list of what I wanted to purchase. I figured I might as well purchase and the shampoo and conditioner too. 

With my purchase made,  I went to my car and yes, I Arlinda used bottled water to moisten my hair and I applied mousse. Once it dried I could easily sense a difference. I couldn't wait to get home and shampoo my hair, which I did today and I'm honestly pleasantly pleased with the outcome. I have a journey to grow healthy hair and now that I've found a family of products I'm ready for it.

If I had not decided to take my hair down on Saturday, Melissa wouldn't have had a moment to pour her hair care knowledge into me. Here's a super cool fact about her, her dream is to own a hair supply store and she's started her journey online at Natural Ambition. 

Cycles Mashup With Jonathan McReynolds, Fred Hammond and Tosha Cobbs-Leonard

I was doing the same thing over and over.

Expecting a different end.

I was going insane.

Just doing the same thing over and over.



Going in circles, expecting a different end.

I had to say no, at some point.

I had to say no, to my own flesh.



I had to say no. I had to say no.



It ends with you.

It's over with you.

No more after you.

It's broken. It's broken. It's broken.



It ends with me.

It's over with me.

No more after me.

It's broken. It's broken. It's broken.

God's Gracious Girl

All Things Work

Every 5th of the month I am taking the time to reflect on my journey while recovering from a stroke. Today makes seven months, and the word that immediately came to mind, as I reflected, was "gracious".  Sometimes I'll create the title of my blog after I write, not today. I'm God's Gracious Girl.

Webster defines gracious as marked by kindness and courtesy. It goes further and mentions graceful, acceptable and pleasing. This journey has been so many things. It's been hard, hurtful and at times disappointing. It's also been loving and peaceful knowing that God knew in eternity that I would not only endure this and but also grow through it and gain different perspectives.

I'm so extremely in awe of God's promises. God has been so amazingly kind to me. God has been a protector and a healer. My prayer, now that I truly realize somethings, is that I move in ways that are acceptable and pleasing to God. I mean, my brag is different. God has shown out on His daughter. He's been so kind and graceful towards me. Since we are created in His image, we possess those characteristics also. You is kind, You is smart. You is important.

When I think of where I was seven months ago and where I am right now it's truly night and day. Seven months ago I was unsure, worried, and sad. Now, I have found joy and peace in the midst of adversity. The picture I'm using for this blog means so much to me. It was taken before my friend, Quiera's, wedding. I stayed in the gorgeous city of Sandy Springs, Georgia. While at her beautiful wedding we learned of the passing of an amazing entertainer. I didn't know much about him but I read everything that I could find, I even watched his funeral service live on Tidal. I learned a couple of things about myself in my research.

I learned that I'm gonna do it real big. Jeremiah 29:11 I Chronicles 4:9-10.
I learned that I want to stay in this moment with God forever. Oh How He Loves Me My One My All
I learned that while I heal that the race is not given to the swift or the battle to the strong..
I learned that God kept me so that I could keep growing, learning, teaching, and being a blessing to others.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing (acceptable) in your sight

Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before

I Press 

The Marathon Continues...

She’s Ready

I've always shied away from speaking publicly. Mainly because I didn't think I had "the look" or I felt like I wasn't enough. I've had these issues not just for years, but for decades. That's a long time to be idle. 

What most don't know is that not only do I read and write a lot but I take a lot of notes of pastors and ministries that I love. I have so many ideas that it gets overwhelming. Lol. 

When I was asked to facilitate Final Fridays I was so nervous & so hesitant because my idea of talking about Esther having a stylist, being saved & fly and incorporating an on the spot fashion show kinda seemed out there out there. 

But it was AMAZING!!! Then to present on self-care and Bible verses related to it during the next session was even more than what I expected. 

I'm definitely that chic who loves Jesus & J Cole, knows Hymns & Hip Hop and believes in Self-Care For The Saints. I'm definitely a Jesus Girl who simply wants to impact the world. 

Now what? That shy one, the one whose been comfortable behind the scenes, has already planned ideas up until October. As I sat and listened to Pastor Mike today it confirmed so much. I needed to burn the plow and no longer have the comfort of my Plan B especially when my God is my Plan A. My pastor has often said, "My Daddy own a cattle on a thousand hills, surely I can get a hamburger."

Maybe it took a faith move to finally walk into God's plan for my life. And you know what? I get joy when I think about it.

Greater Works ~ Morning Mannah

Yesterday Pastor Mike talked about taking the limits off. I kinda laughed when he mentioned that he'd never heard a bird not chirp, a dog not bark, or a snake not snake. Animals do what they are supposed to do. Often, as humans, we do what we want to do. 

Sometimes I think God gets frustrated because He has so many amazing plans for us and we, with all of our freewill, a gazillion options and way too many influences, often choose easier tasks or more attractive options. Only later to wonder why things didn't go right. Why is this job or career not fulfilling me? How come this relationship isn't working out the way I thought it would? However, if you take a step back and take time to know God for who He is and study His word you would realize that He never wanted those things for you in the first place.

Matthew 6:33 tells us to seek first the kingdom of God and those things will be added. God will add those gifts, those opportunities, and those relationships that he intended for us in eternity. As God adds those things, guess what you'll be able to do? A greater work.

It says it right there in John 14:12 (NLT) - "Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."

Can you imagine doing greater works? Can you imagine your gift making room for you? Years ago I was watching Steve Harvey preach on TBN. He described your gift as that thing that you do the absolute best with the least amount of effort. Your gift is that thing that you do in excellence. It's something that you just do. 

I encourage you to seek God first. Let Him add those desires of your heart. Tap into your gifts. Believe in Jesus and go out and do greater works. 

Is it too hard to believe that you can feed thousands? Or to assist the homeless and those enduring hardships? Is it too hard to believe that you can fight injustices or challenge leaders to do what they promised? Nothing is too hard for God. It's not hard to believe if you believe in Jesus. You were created to be the answer to someone's problem. 

Take the limits off. Level up. Remember when God is in it, there is no limit. 

Where's Arlinda?

See what had happened was.. Sometime during the month of April, I was at Tuesday Night Bible Study and my mind went straight into planning mode, while listening to Pastor Mike preach.  I thought about teaching Esther and incorporating a playlist and an impromptu fashion show. It was all in my in head though. I wasn't sure what the plan was for Final Fridays, nor was I going to ask because I'm low key but that night I went home and wrote it all out. I couldn't sleep until it was completed.

What is Final Fridays?

Final Fridays was created for women at Light of the World Church to come together to study God's Word and to fellowship. It's open to all women and it's a really cool moment for women to fellowship and to connect with each other.

So about a week ago, it was actually the last Tuesday in April. It's the end of Bible Study and Pastor Mike is wrapping up. I'm sitting with Enjoli and behind Shavonne, which was a hilarious moment within itself. All of a sudden my pastor starts giving the run down for the rest of the week and he says, "Where's Arlinda?" Then he goes on to say that the women will be meeting on Friday. I sat there with this blank stare as my friend laughed at me. 

Where's Arlinda? She's sitting here trying to go unnoticed. That's where she is. Well, that's where she was because I knew that at some point I had to operate in what God has created me for. I guess it's time out for sitting on the sideline. It's one thing to say it or post it on social media. It's a whole nother thing to actually walk in it. 

I had actually created the layout for this Final Friday on April 9. I simply went to my document and brought it to life in like four days. Can I tell you something? It. Felt. So. Good. It felt good to get the creative juices flowing and it felt good doing what pleases God. 

Everything from the initial plan, to the flyer, the handout, the PowerPoint, and the gifts just came to me after I prayed over it. I kept hearing God say, "Operate in excellence. I know you're afraid but do it anyway." 

So on April 27, 2019 I stepped out of my comfort zone and stepped into my purpose. Years ago I was listening to Pastor Michael Beckwith discuss unfolding. Many statements stood out to me but one I feel like I'm truly living out, "Pain pushes until the vision pulls". Could it be that all of the pain that I endured over the past 5 months was for God to get me where He wanted me? Wouldn't that be a part of all things working together. God's vision for me is way bigger than the one that I have for myself. 

So, where's Arlinda now? Healing, taking care of herself and her family, reading good books, waiting on those things that God has for me and planning for the next Final Friday.

For who knows, maybe I was created for such a time as this. 

I learned how to use Keynote and that I need a new adapter. lol

These crowns were perfect to display as we studied about Esther.