He Doesn't Require It

I remember the message on my birthday. We always tell each other "Happy Birthday." We have deviated from that since we met about 8 years ago at my church. I thought nothing of it. Then I received another message, "Can I take you out for a drink?" I immediately looked up to heaven and said, "God? Really? You would have a man ask me out after I done had a whole stroke?" And my response to the offer to hang out with my Facebook friend. Ummm.... Issa no for me.

I don't drink. Bars are not my thing but I appreciated the offer. He didn't let up but he also didn't press the issue. We did exchange numbers and kinda went from there. I immediate learned that he had an incredible sense of humor and whether we texted or talked it was a lot of fun. Now, I have a slight problem sometimes. If I think that you may have something going on in your life that doesn't gel with me, I delete you off social media and I keep it pushing. I don't text or call. I throw up an invisible peace sign. I don't give you an opportunity to speak your peace either. What can I say? I'm working on me.

Months go by and one day I'm reading a book and I hear a still soft spirit tell me to reach out to him. I did, earlier this month. Then I hear the same voice tell me, "Let it be what it's going to be." We are now communicating a tad more and then he asked to see me. Initially, I said no, for a variety of reasons. I had a lot going on that morning. After I told him no, several things that I had to do cancelled themselves out. I reached out and told him my plans had changed.

So, how did the visit go? It was a dream come true honestly. For days before seeing him I had a dreams about him. Those dreams involved me having a peaceful interaction and him being a comfort and protector to me. When we met I told him about my hesitations to seeing him and being completely honest with letting him know about me abstaining from sensual relationships. It was a truly peaceful moment for me and his response to our conversation was the protection. He told me that he'd always respect my decision to abstain.

This visit is going super well and then something happen. I heard him sing and I was floored. The next time I saw him and he was singing again. He was sitting down and I remember I was standing and as his beautiful voice belted out beautiful note after note, I didn't want to move. I didn't want to disturb the molecular structure of the moment. 

We communicate more now. I pushed him away months ago without thinking it through. All of the things I was worried about, he doesn't require those things of me. He checks on me, expresses concern for me, makes me laugh a lot and blows me away with a vocal gift straight from God.

Whenever he sings Jealous, by Labrinth, it requires my full attention each and every time.