One Mile, The Mall, C'mon Jordan

I started walking on June 30 and today I can say that I completed one mile on my own (Yeah!) and at this very moment the top of my thighs are burning and my back feels like someone shot me with a pellet gun on each side. With that said, I did complete my goal and will continue on with my goal.

What I am finding is that after I reach a milestone, I don't get to celebrate with rest. Especially not when I am raising young Kobe and Bill Gates. Those are the nicknames for my pumpkins. After the walk this morning I was OK. I knew that I would go painting with friends but that was all I really had planned besides going to the mall.

I come home from painting and I knew that my older son needed new basketball shoes, for an upcoming tournament. He offers to drive to the mall and that is cool because I feel the cramps coming up from my ankles. We hit the mall and we hit the first store. He sees some Jordan t-shirts...."Uh!, that is not what we are looking for. Can we stay on track here?" They have no shoes that he likes. Ump!

At store number 2 we look, he looks, and there is nothing catching his eye to run up and down a basketball court for the rest of the week. This store has very nice sales persons and they ask him what size he wears. He tells them size 14, I do take donations for these purchases. ;) The salesman brings out two pair of Jordans. My 16 year old son tells the salesperson "I couldn't wear those to play in, I would just wear those to chill in." Lord please help me!

We would not have this problem if mildew was not an issue. That's a whole nother blog. Yeah I said "nother". Now both of these stores are on the first floor and I am exhausted, if nothing else. I go to the directory and find that the next store is on the second floor and further down the mall. I am not thinking about where the store is located, I am thinking "Exactly how far do I have to go to get to my car if we go to the next store." I look at my son and I think of him going to a tournament with not so fresh basketball shoes. So we hit store number three. At this point I would like to note that my younger son is with us, and no the Laker ball is not with us. He is a little more concerned with going to see the dogs and rabbits at the store we went to last time. How do I get it in his head that that store is 3 hours away?

Is that a bench? He is on his own on this one. My legs need to stop moving for at least 3 minutes. The salesperson is nice and we tell her we are just looking. My son sees a possible pair, he pulls them off the shelf and looks inside the shoe. A look came over his face that read..."I ain't even going to tell her this." I ask the price and he says $158. C'mon Jordan, for real! Three stores and we find a shoe and that is the price? Jordan, can a sister catch a break? We walked around and looked at other items. Jordan shirt $32 and Jordan shorts $50? Well I am not Kelis so we are going to Kroger's and buy some baking soda. Can you blame a sister?

But it don't stop there. By now I am worn out. We stop and get snacks. That's what you do at the mall right? I am trying to hold up to get to the car so that I can get home. We are walking outside the mall laughing and talking. Out of nowhere my son hands me the keys to the car and says, "Mom, you can drive home, I am tired and I don't want to fall asleep at the wheel." That boy better leave me alone! ;)

Looking for a wardrobe donation from Michael Jordan,

Lindar

Speaking those things....... as though they are.

Stepping It Up!

On April 22, 2009 I wrote a post entitled "Step My Game Up". I talked about how it was time to get it together to be a better me. Well since then I have been budgeting better, taking more time for me, seeking a deeper relationship with God, and.....I have been walking.

Walking has been one of the biggest challenges for me. One because I normally just don't go for a walk and two I didn't have any shoes to walk in. Buying tennis shoes is generally not on my things to do list for myself. I had found a person who would train me but I could never find it in my budget to fit that purchase in. I would rather make sure my sons had tennis shoes.



Over the summer my older son went on vacation in Florida. One day he was out shopping at a Nike outlet and called me to ask me what size shoe I wore. I told him that I wanted him to shop for himself. He kept talking and immediately sent me a picture of the shoe he was looking at for me. Well, on the morning that he flew in from Florida he presented me with my new tennis shoes, his younger brother with some Nike outfits, and he took us all to eat at Friday's. How many sixteen year old boys do that?



To date I have been walking 2-3 times a week, for three weeks. At times it hurts and I am trying to realize that Alleve should not be taken like a daily vitamin. And contrary to my cousin's belief, yeah you Lora, I can't do four times around the park yet. I am sticking with my three until further notice!



I am happy with my progress. I talk to God, watch the rabbits eat, and watches as a 60 year old woman passes me twice on the track, and then breaks out into a jog. Maybe I need to step it up a little more huh? ;)



Stepping Into A Better Me,

Lindar

Forgiveness

On this past Wednesday I felt compelled to ask for some positive criticism about Ghetto Chick. That is something that I rarely do with someone I really don't know. It was a God ordained moment. She told me that she would read it and give the book back to me on Friday, at women's bible study.

When I saw her, we hugged and chatted. After she sat down, she handed me the book and said "I really enjoyed the book but one thing was missing". I'm thinking after all the hours, days, weeks, and years nothing could possibly be missing. What Ms. Leslie told me was missing was the act of forgiveness.

So I sat there and thought about her words and I honestly had no response. Now, several hours later I ponder that conversation. What about forgiveness and who exactly is supposed to do the forgiving? Is it between the former husband and me? What starts that process? Is it between the last relationship and me? Ain't nobody going to start that process! Out of sight, out of mind. You feel me? When we talk about forgiving, who forgives who? Is it verbal, nonverbal or written?

Now it looks as if I have some work to do right? The most important person for me right now is me. Have I forgiven myself for allowing myself to get hurt, for not allowing proper healing? See that is a great deal of 'me' work that I have to grow through. When you read Ghetto Chick there is some hurt there towards him and him. Maybe I need to begin working on Ghetto Chick II - The Forgiveness Of It All. Unfortunately, I'm just not there right now, but I will be. God is not through with me yet. He is still doing a great work. All of this is working for my good.

Being patient with me,


Lindar

E. Lynn Harris

What a summer it has been already and we have lost another creative soul. E. Lynn Harris was an amazing writer and one of my favorite authors. His gift at character development encouraged me to want to improve my writing skills. He will be missed by all of his family, friends, and fans

http://www.arktimes.com/blogs/arkansasblog/2009/07/e_lynn_harris_report.aspx

http://www.elynnharris.com/index.asp

Rest In Peace,

Lindar

Blog Post

Here is a blog that I wanted to share with everyone. There is a very good friend who has blessed me with so much knowledge in the past year to push this blog site, my books, and she keeps me going and going. She is so full of life and so full of ideas. We going on Oprah together. I have sent that to the universe.

I love her so much!!! Check out her site daily.

http://clawsetfreak.wordpress.com/2009/07/22/im-not-just-your-ghetto-chick/

If I succeed, We all succeed,

Lindar

KIRK FRANKLIN - HOSANA

Today is a day that I take time to reflect on my Granny. Even though she has been gone for several years. I swear it feels like yesterday when I got the call. If you come to my home and see my beautiful plants, that was a gift that she passed on to me. It took me a while to get them to stay alive and grow, but I finally did it. I know she is laughing at me and Alex tyring to take of the yard. Some days we laugh about it too. She would have loved Tyler and would have laughed so much watching him fill his jaws with grapes and strawberries.

If you go into my kitchen and see my gadgets, many were gifts from her. Being in the kitchen and working in her gardern was important to her life. I can't even figure out the whole quilting thing. But I am still trying Granny.

This song was one of her favorites and I remember sitting and watching this dvd with her. Oh! God! She loved Kirk Franklin. It's hard to listen to this song, even now. Granny gave me years of memories, knowledge, recipes, and lectures. I know she would be proud of all of us. In knowing that I keep pressing.

The heart is heavy today,
Lindar

Behold I Do A New Thing

Notice anything different about the site? The color? The design? I am growing and so is my site, so I decided it was time to do an update. And you know what? I really like it. I am learning a great deal of information about blogging and presentation is everything. Many new people are hitting my site and I want it to reflect who I am growing to be.

I hope you like the new update. Don't be surprised if it changes again. Change is always good.

Be Blessed,

Lindar

JK Wedding Entrance Dance

I love this video so much. I was in tears. It was funny, heartful and wonderful display of unity and love. May God bless your union. Life is one big dance anyway.

Just

Today I just feel good. Before going to bed last night I cleaned a great deal of my home so I would not have much to worry about this morning. I put away toys, vacuumed, and straightened some things up. After I cleaned I watched "The Tiny and Toya Show" and part of "The Wendy Williams Show". I can honestly say that I gained something from each program.

I sat in the living room, by myself, and reflected on how God has blessed me with wonderful sons, wonderful family and friends, an exciting ministry to work in, a good job, and a beautiful home. Sure there are areas in my life that could use a little revamping but overall I am happy.

There is a song by Kirk Franklin on his "Hero" CD entitled "Could've Been". I could be homeless, trying to find food for my family, and not clothed in my right mind. But God!!!! He saw fit for my life to be the way that it is and I am so thankful.

So today, I am just happy, just excited, just grateful to know that God will provide even in a time of recession.

In All Things Give Thanks,

Lindar

New Poem on Poetry.com

Hello all! I am sending you the link to a poem I just submitted on poetry.com

http://poetry.com/dotnet/W0352881/999/1/display.aspx

What I Believe The Jackson Family Showed the World

Many of us knew that there would be a fantastic celebration of Michael Jackson's life. Some of us were disappointed by the tribute given by BET. I knew in my heart that someone would put together a memorial fitting for Michael Jackson. What I was not prepared for was The Michael Jackson Memorial on July 7, 2009.

To sum it up, it was full of grace and it was simply beautiful. The Jackson family showed us how much they loved their son, brother, father, and friend and that they are truly a family. The gracefulness of the brothers, who also served as pallbearers for their brother Michael, sent me to tears each time the camera zoomed in on them. With each performance or speech they stood in solidarity and thanked the person as they came from the stage. When Usher became overwhelmed with grief many, if not all, of Michael Jackson's siblings rushed to comfort him. What a moment? That even in their grief they wanted to comfort someone else.

Like many of my friends I cried until I literally had a headache. Once the memorial service was over I felt like I had just had a serious church experience. That service yesterday to me was simply "church" as we do in our community. Even today I am still in deep reflection about the past two weeks since Michael Jackson passed. Though yesterday was very different for me. I saw the Jackson family in a whole new light. I mourned with them and I cried with them. I feel like I am a distant family member, but a family member none the less.

At the end of the service when several of Michael's family members spoke, I thought through my tears "Lord, I don't think I can take much more." Watching with tear filled eyes I saw sisters supporting their hurting brothers, brothers supporting their hurting niece. We don't see this often on television. Most images we see of African Americans are athletes, rappers, and singers. Those images are not always positive.

They, the Jackson Family, showed brothers in unity, the Jackson brothers were so handsome in their dark suits, yellow accessories and white gloves, they showed beautiful sisters dressed for the occasion and still fashionable and they showed us that they take care of each other at all times. I am grateful to The Jackson Family because I believe they showed the world that we can have class, style, and grace at all times, even as we mourn our loved ones.

My prayer is that we allow Michael Jackson to rest in peace and that we continue to pray for his family during this time.

Because of Him I Am,
Lindar

Eternal Rest

Have you ever wanted a good nights sleep? and actually got it? How about going to the grocery store or McDonald's? How easy is it for us to just leave out of our houses and pick a few items from Kroger's, Biggs, Winn Dixie or wherever you may shop? Then from there you go get a sweet tea and a crispy chicken club from McDonald's? No one is following us. No one is taking our pics or trying to see what our children look like, no matter how adorable they are.

We can never imagine the life of Michael Jackson, where everything he did was under a microscope. Some people say that with the money he had, he shouldn't have been concerned with what we call everyday errands. Michael wanted so many of the aspects of life that we call "normal". In several reports it has been stated that over the past several years Michael dealt with not being able to sleep well. Now one of the very things we take for granted, a good night's rest, is under the microscope.

Today we not only continue to mourn the loss of Michael Jackson but we say goodbye to our handsome "Off the Wall" brother, our uniting "We Are the World" brother, our "Gone Too Soon" brother. For many it's going to be a difficult day. An emotional day. Personally I find peace in knowing that Michael Jackson is eternally at rest.

God speed Michael Jackson. Your fans will forever "Get On the Floor" and dance with you. Your music will live on in our hearts.

Forever A Fan,
Lindar

I Just Can't Stop Loving You

Here is a response I wrote to an article about Michael Jackson in 1987 (Ebony Mag). Seeing it today is something....MJ is near and dear to my heart. That was the year I came out of high school and had no clue what I was going to do with my life. I knew then that I wanted to write.

I believe seeing this article today is the confirmation I need for me to keep pressing towards my goals.

Never let your dreams die.

"http://books.google.com/books?id=uswDAAAAMBAJ&pg=PA8&dq=arlinda+mcglothin"

Because of Him I am,
Lindar

Mary J Blige ft. Drake - The One

Checkout Mary's new song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-zn98fcgpg