Grief & My Favorite Number

The number 16 is my favorite number. 

My birthday is on the 16th. 

Alex’s birthday is on the 16th. 

It represents double new beginnings (8+8)

And. Takes a breath. 

It is the date we buried my father a year ago. 

A year without him has been an emotional roller coaster. 

Leading up to May of last year, I was beginning to see a glimmer 🤏🏽 of hope while recovering from a chronic illness. 

It felt like 🥊🥊 when Alex called me that night to tell me of my father’s passing. 

Some days I couldn’t figure out if the feelings of fatigue, anxiety and depression were from the illness, mourning the loss of my father or both.  

Some days those feelings collided. I honestly had to come up with a system. If I managed to get dressed, have on my 3 pairs of earrings and some makeup, I accomplished something. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Now, if I did those things and got out of the house. I’m winning on those days. 🏅

What has helped. 

✨Sleep

✨Essential oils (lavender, spearmint & eucalyptus)

✨Crying freely

✨Realizing grief shows up in various ways. 

✨Therapy 

✨Journaling

✨Being gentle with where I am. 

✨My faith 

✨My village 

✨Tending to my plants. 

The Lord will perfect that concerning me. 

And sooner or later…