Just Where I Am

This post was originally posted on 8/26/18

 

Where I am in my life is quite interesting. I have been a believer in God for years. I've been practicing mindfulness for a couple of years. This summer I began a keto eating lifestyle and I feel really good about that. I am entering in my 4th week of a self-care challenge and I am realizing a couple of things about myself. 

One, is that I am not stressing over things that are not stressing over me. Well, what exactly does that mean Arlinda? I'm glad you asked. My energy is mine to have and mine to give out. If I give that energy out and it's disregarded or taken advantaged of, I'm now inclined to take my energy back and distance myself from what does not make me feel good about myself.

I had someone recently tell me that I need to let people know when their actions make me feel some kinda of way. I guess that's a good idea but that's not where I am. It's better for me to distance myself, process what happened and keep it moving. I'm just not here for having the same conversations over and over. How often have we heard, "If you can't change the people around you, change the people around you."? Change is necessary.

The second thing is this notion of "fitting in"? In my self-care challenge it has been magnified that I've constantly had my hand up yelling, "Look up at me! I can do this! I can do that! Pick me!" Whether it's in ministry, at work, in friendships or in potential relationships. I know my skill set, I'm quite aware of my resume, I know my worth and I know who God has called me to be. It's time out for trying to fit into social circles that don't edify me and uplift my gifts and talents. Plus I absolutely refuse to dumb down for anyone. Again, my resume. 

So, if anyone notices a difference in how I operate, in how I am no longer concerned about whether or not you pick me, that I'm cool with being not so busy trying to please others, it's just where I am. I'm just taking care of myself.  

Namaste

Infused by Arlinda McGlothin - McKinley

 

Infused

After a failed marriage Lindar enters into a situationship with a love interest from her past. He infuses and inspires Lindar to become a writer. Lindar has to learn many difficult lessons, including how to love herself. Once the relationship ends she goes on a quest of redemption to prove to the world and to herself that she is truly something special.

Stay Connected With Us

LindarInsights

How I Use Mood Boards to Brand My 📚

 

Mood boards bring together the colors, fonts, imagery, and design elements that help shape the visual identity of a project—whether it’s a book or a company.

Thoughtful branding helps create consistency and allows your book’s message to be reflected visually before a reader even opens the first page.

Creating A Mood Board For Your Book 💞💙💕💙

 

Have you ever created a mood board to brand your book? These colors and fonts were chosen intentionally for my journal Resting While You Wait. Branding helps your book feel consistent across social media, marketing materials, and your author platform. Your book’s design becomes part of your story. This image was created in Canva. I began by: 1. Searching Mood Board. 2. Under categories I selected “Your Story” 3. Added my book cover image and designed from that point. Follow and connect with me for more self-publishing tips, author insights, and encouragement to help you bring your book to life. #selfpublishing #authorlife #bookpublishing #writers #lindarinsights

Self-Publishing & Branding 💞💙💞💙

 

Publishing independently allows writers to build their own author brand. Over time, authors can grow a platform that reflects their voice and message. Follow and connect with me for more self-publishing tips, author insights, and encouragement to help you bring your book to life. #selfpublishing #authorlife #bookpublishing #writers #lindarinsights

I Choose Joy - Originally Posted 3.8.2020

One year ago today I made one of the biggest decisions of my life, to choose joy. I remember discussing it afterwards in therapy. We discussed the number 8 and how that number means new beginnings and that the day was International Women’s Day.

Today is International Women’s Day and I’m feeling so honored to be a woman empowered to say no to those things that no longer serve me and to choose joy over being comfortable. God didn’t call us to blend in but to stand out. You have to have faith to step out of the boxes that have confined you, without faith it is impossible to please God.

It’s been an amazing journey of hurt, depression, not knowing what’s next and if I could do it all over on March 8, 2019 I’d still choose joy. This above all to thine ownself be true.

(Excerpt From Diligently, “I Choose Joy”)

On March 8th, I woke up and prepared for my day. As with every payday, I checked my checking account. However, on this day, I didn’t get paid by my employer. I decided that in that moment I wasn’t going to get upset. God had been good to me thus far and there was no reason to think that He didn’t have that under control either. Weeks prior, my parents purchased new furniture and I asked if I could have my grandmother’s recliner. My grandmother had passed several years ago, and I couldn’t let them get rid of her chair.

When the chair arrived at our home, we had no idea where we would put it. Alex’s idea was to place it next to our ottoman that sat in the middle of the room. I told him that it didn’t make sense, although to this day that is where I sit to watch Sports Center in the morning with my Greek yogurt or steel-cut oatmeal. I was sitting in that chair upon realizing that I had no pay and a therapy appointment in an hour.

God spoke to me as I sat there.“If you had to go back to where you were reassigned in order to get paid today, would you go?”

My immediate response was, “No; I choose joy!”

Self-Publishing Tips

 

Books I’ve Self-Published Over the Years | My Journey as an Independent Author

 

In this video, I’m showcasing several books that I have self-published as an independent author. Writing and publishing has been a meaningful part of my journey, and each book reflects a different season of growth, faith, healing, and gratitude.

Snoh Aalegra: NPR Music Tiny Desk Concert

 

What Sparks Joy For You? ✨

 

You Have Everything You Need

 

To hear this episode in it's entirety visit Evolving Takes Werk.

Olivia Dean - Man I Need (Live from The BRIT Awards 2026)

 

Hello March!!!! 🌷

Hello March!!!! 💚

It's a month of new beginnings & springing forward. 🌸

It's also Women's History Month!!! Where my girls at?? 🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋‍♀️

Other calendar dates. 🗓️

March 8 - International Women's Day 💁🏽‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️

March 9 - National Napping Day 😴

March 12 - Popcorn Lover's Day 🍿#pattyspopcorn

March 17 - St. Patrick's Day ☘️ 

March 18 - Global Recycling Day ♻️ 

March 20 - 1st Day of Spring 🌷

Remembering Jesse Jackson 1941-2026

 

Self-Publishing Tips

 

Ways To Practice Gratitude - SEL

 

Ways To Practice Gratitude

• Write out 3 things that you are grateful for everyday.
• Create a Gratitude Jar
• Write someone a Thank You note.
• Be Kind

William L. Manggrum Jr. - Architect (Cinti, Ohio)

Did you know that two churches in Cincinnati, Ohio were designed by an African American Architect? 

Mr. William L. Manggrum Jr. is a pioneer in architecture. 

Mr. Manggrum grew up in Walnut Hills. He attended Withrow High School and Howard University's School Of Engineering & Architecture. 

He is hailed as the first African American architect from Cincinnati and the second from Ohio to become a registered architect. 

He designed buildings in the Walnut Hills, Avondale (First New Shiloh Baptist), Lockland and Evanston (The Fifth Christian Church - Disciples of Christ) areas. 

Mr. Manggrum comes from a family of 1st. 

Mr. William Langston Manggrum Sr., a 1921 graduate of the University of Pittsburgh College of Pharmacy, opened Manggrum Drug Store in the late 1920s, the first black-owned drugstore to be opened in Walnut Hills, Cincinnati, Ohio. Source - (ABHPharm)

Mrs. Loretta C. Manggrum -  In 1953 Mrs  Manggrum became the first African American to earn a degree from the Cincinnati Conservatory of Music. - Source (The Voice of Black Cincinnati)

More Than Anything/Addictive Love 90s Mashup/Change Church

 

Circle With The Sisters | Dr. Karri Bryant

 

Evolving Takes Werk Podcast - Introduction

 

Resting While You Wait Journal

Resting While You Wait

Resting While You Wait Journal 💞💙

Resting While You Wait Journal 💞

Benefits of RWYW Journal 💞💙

**Spiritual Growth:** By dedicating time each day to reading, writing, and reflecting, participants will experience significant spiritual growth and a closer relationship with God.

**Increased Peace:** Engaging with scriptures about rest and God's promises helps to cultivate a sense of peace and reduce stress.

**Habit Formation:** After 21 days, participants will have developed a sustainable habit of daily spiritual practice, making it easier to maintain this routine long-term.

**Enhanced Clarity:** Quiet reflection and listening to the Holy Spirit can provide clarity and direction in one's life, making it easier to navigate daily challenges.

Teaching Gratitude In SEL Classes

 

As an Intervention Specialist one of my favorite SEL topics to teach is about gratitude on Thursdays. #thankfulthursdays

SMILE - Vernon Byrd

 

National Random Acts of Kindness Day

 

Pressing for the Mark

 

You can have the best intentions and still your plans do not turn out right. How do you move from that? How do you keep going?

The answer for me is to keep my eye on the goal at hand. Even when the goal seems unachievable and unreachable. But to be honest sometimes those days of unachievable and unreachable can be long, dark and just plain hard. Personally I have set some goals for myself that I thought I could obtain. I took all of the necessary steps to achieve the goal. It seems that right when I was at that point of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel the rocks fell and closed the other side of the tunnel.

I do pray! I do read my Bible! I do have faith!

Now I have to reevaluate if those marks that I wanted for myself are in the will of God's plan for my life. Is it possible that I am not wanting the things that God wants for me? Do I reach too low? Should I want to reach higher?

As I continue to press for the mark, I have to constantly question is the mark for me to be satisfied or for Him to pleased?

Lindar

(Originally posted 2.21.2009)

Zen Music, Relaxing Music, Calming Music, Stress Relief Music, Peaceful Music, Relax

 

I Finally Know - Boyz II Men

 

I Am Her!!

 

Today I did something I seldom do. I went shopping and it was hot. There were some quaint stores that I wanted to visit and they didn't disappoint me at all. While shopping in one store I came across a book entitled "I Am Her". I really did pick up the book and hug it. It was further confirmation for me that I finally know who she is.

This book is beautiful, serene and affirmative and it's blue. The color blue has been a blessing during my healing process. It's weird because my favorite color is lavender. My house is blue and my car is blue, I guess blue has always been there for me but I'm just realizing it. Kinda like I'm finally realizing that I am her!!!!!

(Originally posted on July 5, 2019)

Whitney Houston - Million Dollar Bill (Official Video)

 

Dear Whitney, I Get So Emotional Every Time I Think Of You (Originally Posted 3.14.12)

    I remember February 11 all too well. It is my brother’s birthday and it was also the day of a health and wellness event at our church. The previous day our church had a GoRed! Gala. Needless to say I was very tired when I got home. I passed out for many hours. As I struggled to get up later that evening I received a call from my niece about Whitney Houston. Now the need to get up was urgent. The texts and calls were coming through. Many I didn’t respond to. I was numb, stunned, emotional……

    Only last night did I pick up and read one of the many magazines I have purchased in memory of Whitney. They are sitting on the counter for me to glance at as I come and go throughout the house. For the very first time as I read about Whitney not one tear dropped. Whew! The article took me back to 1985, two years before I would graduate from high school. I remember hearing her sing for the first time and wishing I had the courage to use my voice to sing. She was like a part of me that I wished I was. A part of me that to this day still stays dormant.

    I was fortunate enough to see her when she came to Riverbend. Thinking back on that now, I just wanted to see Whitney Houston in concert and now I realize that I witnessed the beginning of an icon. One of my dreams when I was in school was to become a tour manager and to work with her. Now that never happened but it solidifies my adoration for her music early on. After her passing I had a person say to me, when was the last time you listened to a Whitney Houston song. Please believe that she is and has been in rotation since the beginning.

    While “How Will I Know” is my absolute favorite Whitney song. My favorite album has to be I’m Your Baby Tonight which contains the song “Miracle”. That song speaks volumes to many life experiences that I was going through at that time. I believe that is what her music did, speak volumes to her fans. So much so that after hearing “The Greatest Love of All” in 1992 I decided to name my son Alexander because I knew he would be great and so would my love for him. Years later I would go on to name my younger son Xander.

    I pray that Whitney’s spirit feels the overwhelming support of so many people who loved her so much and appreciated her. We all have flaws, we are all searching for the dream that makes us feel whole, and we all want to experience great love. In many ways, many of us are similar to Whitney Houston constantly searching out that which the Creator has already placed inside of us.

    The music of Whitney Houston is timeless and she was blessed to be given songs to sing that will forever hold meaning. Since February 11 I have listened to so many songs and had so many memories but there is one song I can’t listen to yet, one video I can’t view yet. I can’t manage to hear her sing learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all… I get too emotional.

Every Role Informed the Other (Nothing Was Wasted)

 

What I thought was a company to help others share their stories became a deeper realization—that I am the bet, perfectly packaged, with nothing to prove.

    When I look at my life now, I no longer see fragmentation. I see formation. What once felt like too many roles, too many pauses, and too many pivots now reads as preparation. Mother, educator, writer, believer, survivor, each role shaped the next. None of them existed in isolation, and none of them were accidental.

    Being a mother taught me patience long before I ever named it as leadership. It taught me how to listen beneath words, how to respond instead of react, how to keep showing up even when I was tired. Being an educator sharpened my ability to translate complex ideas into language people can actually receive. Writing became the place where I processed what I couldn’t yet say out loud. Faith taught me how to trust seasons that didn’t make sense while I was living them and that all things work together for my good.

    Then came the roles I never asked for but still had to inhabit, patient, survivor, griever. Illness slowed me down in ways productivity never could. Recovery forced me to confront my limits. Grief stripped away any illusion of control. And still, even those roles informed the others. They deepened my compassion. They clarified my voice. They reshaped how I understand leadership, not as authority over others, but as stewardship of truth.

    At the time, it didn’t feel purposeful. It felt disruptive. Inconvenient. Like I was falling behind while everyone else was moving forward. But distance has a way of revealing design. What once felt like interruption now feels like instruction. The pauses weren’t gaps, they were classrooms. The lessons learned are invaluable. 

    This is why I no longer believe in wasted seasons. The work I do now is stronger because of everything that came before it. I can sit with people in uncertainty because I’ve lived there. I know fully the pain of rejection and what it's like to become ill and have to solely depend on others. I can guide others through storytelling because I’ve had to find language for my own becoming. I can lead without rushing because my life has taught me the cost of forcing outcomes.

    So when I say I am perfectly packaged, I don’t mean finished. I mean integrated. I mean whole. I mean I no longer need to separate who I’ve been from who I am becoming. The throughline was always there. I just couldn’t see it until I stopped trying to edit my life and started honoring it.

When “Niche Down” Costs You Parts of Yourself

    I told myself my niche was self-publishing and writing. I created the website and the social media pages. I did all of the things. That wasn’t wrong but it wasn’t complete. What I didn’t understand then was how much pressure that advice carried, or how quietly it asked me to leave parts of myself behind.

    “Niche down” started to feel less like guidance and more like an eraser. It suggested that my story needed trimming. That my experiences needed editing. That the parts of me shaped by illness, grief, faith, recovery, leadership, motherhood, and survival were somehow extra. I felt like I had to choose one lane when my life had clearly taken many—and none of them were accidental.

    Every role I’ve held informed the other parts of me at the same time. Niching down didn’t make my work clearer, rather it made it feel disconnected from me. And over time, that disconnect created quiet resistance. Not because I lacked discipline, but because something in me knew I was being asked to shrink.

    There’s a particular grief that comes from trying to make yourself more “marketable.” It doesn’t show up all at once. It shows up in hesitation. In daily self-reflections. In the feeling that you're leaving too much unsaid. I didn’t realize it then, but I was grieving parts of myself while trying to brand the rest. In those moments, the branding didn't feel fulfilling because so much of me was being left out. 

    I was leaving out so much that makes me relatable to single moms, divorce moms, women of faith and women who can't see it yet but they are thriving in adverse situations without having the language to it. I named the whole of who I am. Mom. Believer. Educator. Writer. Survivor. I'm every woman. A multi-talented woman who has a publishing company designed to help others tell their stories.

    Now, the writing comes easier. The ideas connected. The resistance softened. Not because I had finally figured out the “right” strategy—but because I stopped abandoning myself in the process. 

    This is what perfectly packaged actually means to me now. Not polished. Not minimized. Integrated. Whole. Honest. Every role informing the other. Nothing wasted.

Unraveled - (Originally Posted December 17, 2016)

    So, it's been 7 weeks and 1 day. How do I know that? I just do and today is my birthday eve so I have all kinds of thoughts and emotions. Back in February 2009 a relationship ended that broke my heart, left me sad and hating snow days. If I were real honest he and I shouldn't have been together then. I was separated and nearing divorce and he had stuff going on. We tried. It didn't work.

    When it ended it was like "ugh" another failed relationship. So for the past 7 years I've focused on my sons, ministry, work, you name it and I was doing it. I was busy. When I wasn't busy, I was sleepy because.... Well, I was busy.

    Honestly, I remember the weekend leading up to him reappearing. I had made a candle of hydrangea, lavender and chamomile. On that Sunday I lit it and said, "He would love this candle." I'm so serious when I say that the very next day I heard from him.

    What I believed to be that moment of openness and forgiveness quickly moved to the cover being removed off a hurt that I had carried and masked as being ok. I had to face myself and say honestly, "You've never healed." It still hurts. Now I was becoming not myself. It felt like my perfect ball of yarn had become unraveled. My truth about yarn is that I buy it and 1 of 2 people put it in a neat ball for me because I don't know how. Boy! Was this now more evident as I tried to maintain. I couldn't put the yarn back into a ball.

    I became frustrated, sad, and angry. I called on my friend Lauren, who is always a beacon of light. I called on God because now isn't a good time for dude to show up. As gentle as God is, He softly said, "I knew he would come. You have to deal with it because you never really have."

     My friend and I have had hard conversations and I mean hard. One day he repeated to me things I said to him or I did while we were together. I never voiced it but I thought, "Did I say that?" I'd always shared what he did or said. I had to be honest with self, yet again, I seldom revealed my hand in this. This is not to defend him but to disclose that I wasn't perfect in that relationship. To top it off one Sunday, Quiera came all the way from Atlanta to tell me through a sermon that sometimes it's not everyone else, sometimes it's you. "Who?" Smh. Yeah, it's time for me to self reflect.

     About 19 years ago I met him. He had me at hello. Our friendship survived downsizing, Katrina and failed relationships on both ends. We'd always had each other's backs until we became a couple. We were so used to always going to each other when crisis hit that we had no idea how to be out of crisis and at peace with each other.

    When I lit that beautifully scented candle I had not idea that at the thought of him, he would appear. Just maybe this will foster healing for both of us so that we can move forward. I know one thing for sure and two things for certain being unraveled is for the birds. I need to learn how to patiently put this yarn back into a ball.

*written 11.15.16 #mybirthdayeve

Relaxing Sleep Music

National Wear Red Day 2.6.2026

I have been supporting the Go Red For Women initiative for several years. It began with me attending "Have Faith In Heart" meetings. At those meetings women from local churches would come together to learn about Go Red and how we could share that information with out local churches and faith based organization. 

Why is that important?

Cardiovascular disease is the No. 1 killer of women. 

Wear red to be seen, to be counted, to be heard, and to make an impact.

Wellness Webinar.2 | Practice Gratitude

 

Releasing the Pressure to Niche Down

 

    For a long time, I heard the same advice over and over again: niche down. Make it smaller. Make it clearer. Make it easier to explain. I thought my niche was simply self-publishing and writing. And while that’s true, it was never the whole truth.

    What I didn’t realize then was how much pressure that advice carried. It made me feel like I had to flatten my experience to fit inside a category. Like I had to choose one lane when my life had clearly taken many. Writing wasn’t separate from healing. Publishing wasn’t separate from grief. Coaching wasn’t separate from lived experience. They were all informing each other at the same time.

    Now I see it differently. My niche isn’t a single service or skill, it’s the intersection of my story, my voice, and the season I’m willing to write from. It’s creativity shaped by recovery. It’s guidance rooted in lived experience. It’s helping others give language to what they’ve survived and what they’re still becoming.

    So no, I didn’t niche down.
    I named the whole of who I am.

    And that’s when everything began to make sense.

    I realized that I'm perfectly packaged. I am a

• Writer 

• Coach 

• Survivor 

• Mother 

• Faith-rooted woman

• Creative who understands grief, recovery, and rebuilding

Every role informed the others. Nothing was wasted.

Olivia Dean – Millionaire (Kelis Cover / Live From KOKO)

Whitney Houston - How Will I Know? (LIVE! 1986)

Hello February!!!

Self-Care Saturday

    

     Self-Care Saturday is more than a cute hashtag. It’s a gentle declaration that you are worthy of rest, intention, and renewal before the week asks anything of you. Saturdays hold a unique kind of permission. The rush eases, the clock loosens its grip, and your nervous system finally gets a chance to exhale. Self-care isn’t indulgence; it’s maintenance. It’s how we return to ourselves after pouring into work, family, purpose, and people. When we choose self-care, we are choosing ourselves.

    Self-Care Saturday can look beautifully different for everyone. For some, it’s a slow morning with tea, prayer, journaling, or a gratitude practice that recenters the heart. For others, it’s movement; walking, stretching, dancing, or heading to the gym to release stress stored in the body. 

    Creative care might mean reading, painting, writing, or tending to a passion project that feeds your spirit. 

    Social care could be brunch with a trusted friend, while sensory care might be a long bath, a skincare ritual, or simply sitting in silence. Each activity carries benefits: lowered stress, improved mood, clearer thinking, emotional regulation, and a deeper sense of connection to yourself.

    What makes Self-Care Saturday powerful is intention. When you pause to ask, What do I need today?—you begin practicing self-trust. Over time, these small, consistent choices build resilience, prevent burnout, and remind you that your well-being matters just as much as your productivity. Let Saturday be your weekly reset. Not to become more, but to remember who you already are. 💜

Self-care is not selfish.

Small Dignity Tasks

    

    There's a phrase I've been returning to lately. Small dignity task. It names something many of us do instinctively but rarely honor. A small dignity task is a simple, grounded action that restores a sense of self when life feels overwhelming, uncertain, or discouraging. It's not about productivity or progress in the traditional sense. It's about dignity. About reminding yourself, I still matter. I can care for myself even when things feel unstable. When big plans feel heavy and clarity feels far away, these small acts become anchors. They don't fix everything but they help you stay connected to who you are while you're waiting for things to shift.

    Small dignity tasks are especially important during seasons of discouragement, financial strain, grief, transition, or decision fatigue. When motivation is low and pressure is high. They're for the days when getting through feels like enough. When you're tired of pushing but not ready to give up. These tasks are not about "doing more"; they're about doing one kind thing for yourself that reestablishes self-respect and steadiness. They help regulate your nervous system, quiet the internal noise, and create just enough emotional traction to keep moving forward, without forcing answers or pretending everything is fine.

Because let's be honest, everything is not always fine.

    Here are a few examples of small dignity tasks—simple, accessible actions that gently restore balance:

• Making your bed or clearing one small surface
• Drinking a full glass of water before checking your phone
• Taking a shower with intention (music, silence, or deep breaths)
• Stepping outside for fresh air, even for two minutes
• Sending one honest email or message you've been avoiding
• Preparing a nourishing meal or snack instead of skipping food
• Writing one sentence in a journal: "Today feels ___."
• Changing into clean, comfortable clothes
• Lighting a candle or sitting quietly for a moment of stillness

    None of these are grand. And that's the point. Small dignity tasks are quiet declarations that you are worthy of care right now, not later. Before the breakthrough, before the stability, before everything makes sense. They are how we tend to ourselves while life is unfolding.

Which dignity tasks are you most likely to try when things are not fine?