In order to move forward you have to leave some things and some people behind. I've learned recently that you also have to leave some perceptions behind too. This week is Spring Break and I have had 3 conversations that have forced me to side-eye myself and ask some critical questions. Some being, "Why did you entertain that?" "Why would they think that about you?" and "Why did I think that about them?""
Why did you entertain that?
I'd be the first to admit that I have bad choices and stupid decisions when it comes to who I allow in my close circle. And yes, I can be hard on myself because all of the red flags fell from every spot in the sky and yet I ignored them. So after giving unconditionally and being the best friend I had to in the words of my students, "I had to let them know." I had to let it be known that it's not recess and I'm not playing.
Why would they think that about you?
Today I laughed as an acquaintance told me that they guessed I was in a relationship and that's why I ignore them. Oh, the laugh I had. I'm not in a relationship. I just get so busy. I see that being busy, doing a lot of stuff, leaves people out and makes them feel that they are not important. I was so touched at the sincerity. I guess I need to make time to sit in the park again.
Why did I think that about them?
Talk about life! Man! I've tried to see if my perception was so off because I never really attempted to make a connection. I think sometimes I get so caught up in not being enough, "not cute enough", not the right type" that I miss out on some of the best friendships because there's a part of me that just believes they wouldn't like me or want to be my friend. So the kicker is that after not seeing each other for several years we sat down and talked for nearly an hour partly discussing my perceptions.
In actuality we both were going through a lot in life. At that point we just never made a connection.
When I left the last conversation it came to me to leave these behind and press for the mark. Leave behind the bad relationship that seems to be impacting the other person 9 months later. Sorry bruh, I glowed up. You and me were a love lesson. I learned. I'm done. So done .
Leave behind being so busy to cover up that notion that if you stay busy you won't have to deal with others outside of your immediate circle. Hey, it's me. I ain't hiding nothing, it's me.
Leave behind the negative perceptions of others and move forward with prayer and believe for a healthy foundation for a friendship. Hello Father. It's Your daughter. Need Your wisdom, water and love.
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
Philippians 3:13 NIV
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