Indestructible

As a new journey begins I have to reflect on the one that ended. I’ve used the words heartbroken and shattered soul to describe what I experienced within the first half of this year. It seemed to begin to come to an end when Mary released #strengthofawoman I remember the last conversation he and I had and I remember getting my phone out and blasting this song and that is when I really listened to the lyrics of Indestructible. I was living this song word for word.

While I am far from perfect, the words that he said to me hurt deeply and I questioned myself for days and weeks to come. I had to reflect on my value. I had to sift through my hurt and figure out where I was. I was missing, I went to dark places all because he didn’t know how to deal with his pain, so he tried to put it all on me. But it wasn’t my load to carry.

It’s been nearly two months since that day and while I am healing, I pray that God keeps my heart covered and that I don’t go back to that place. The hardest part is knowing that he is battling a terminal illness but even that doesn’t give him permission to do to me what can’t be undone.

God sent a squad of angels to gathered those shattered pieces of my soul, to pray over me and to simply let me fall apart and cry in their arms.

Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.

This morning I woke up a happier person and then I saw the scripture for the day was Romans 8:28.

Joy has come.

For that I’m grateful.

Think about how valuable you are. Don’t let what he put you through cause you to close your heart. #indestructible #maryjblige

Sidenote.. I actually wrote this late Monday night but for some reason when I woke early Tuesday morning I deleted it off my Fb notes and I heard a voice say, "Blog This!"

In A World Of Paper Plates Be Fine China

Is it too early to talk about trash? Well, how about paper plates? We use them generally for large gatherings because after we use these plates we can discard them. We just pile all of the paper plates in a garbage bag that eventually gets put outside. See, if I wanted some paper plates I could send my son to UDF or Family Dollar, a convenient store. It’s just up the street.

Convenient store?

Not far away.

Easy to get to.

Paper plates?

Cheap.
Convenient.
Easily thrown away.

But let’s just say I wanted fine china. I love my son but I’m not sending him for this purchase, there are too many decisions that have to be made. I’m going to pick the dishes out myself. It won’t be a convenient trip. I’ll need to travel to go and purchase this item. I’ll have to go to Macy’s or Dillard's. Once I get there I’ll be met with beautiful selections. After I make my purchase I can’t just throw the dishes in the trunk. No, fine china is packaged differently. It’s boxed and often has material in between the dishes so that they are not easily broken when transported. I don’t know about you but I’m packaged different. I brag different. #thatwillpreach

You have to start asking yourself how are you allowing people to treat you? Like paper plates or fine china?

Fine China?

Valued.

Expensive.

Treasured.

It has to be handled differently.

Paper plates vs. fine china, convenience vs. being valued, trash vs. treasure, Family Dollar vs. Macy's. It’s time to put folk on notice. You are not to be easily discarded, just thrown away at one’s convenience.  You are God’s chosen. You are royalty.  In a world of paper plates be fine china. Be valued. Be treasured. Be that good and perfect gift.

Now if you encounter a person, or people, who only want paper plates, simply say to yourself, “If that’s all you want.” Then proceed to throw up the peace sign and keep it moving. God has more for you. He has better for you. Nothing against paper plates but desire that exceedingly and abundantly that God has predestined for you. Surround yourself with people who value you, who are good friends to you and desire for you to be happy. Time out for the paper plates.

Image From Dillard's

I Just Want To Run From It

We often teach that if you are struggling through something 

That is a good thing

Ummm….. I really don’t want to hear that right now

I just want to run from it

Though running from it won’t aid me in growing through it

But running from it will help me avoid

Rejection

Coming out of my comfort zone, even if it’s not too comfy right now

Avoid

That feeling that sometimes creeps in of not being good enough

Even when I know I am more than enough

 I really want to run away through some lavish lavender fields

To a beautiful cottage by a lake

Like in the storybook I read in my youth

But it’s not a storybook

And I don’t know where any cottages are

Let alone a lake

And the lavender fields have bloomed and been sold

So where do I run to?

Do I run?

Should I run?

It could all be so simple

But it’s not because

I have learned that if you don’t go through your experiences 

And get the lesson

You end up repeating the lesson until

You stop running

And simply allow the lesson to unfold

The most interesting thing about this lesson 

It’s patient with me

It teaches me constantly

It encompasses me with a strength that’s protective

It guides me

It supports me

Yet, I want to run from it

Because

There’s this theory that if I run

Disappointment will never have a chance to set in