Just Remembering
Today I took my son's little hand in mine
As we walked up the street to possibly to see my grandmother in her home one last time
I told him how a dog bit me when I was little in her front yard
Though I didn't tell him I blamed my sibling for it...
We get in the house I think back to Christmas dinners
Gifts under a beautiful tree
The trees were always beautiful
Easter Sundays
Frilly hats and socks
Smells coming from the kitchen
Sitting at the little table
I stood in that kitchen today and remembered the sizzle of the hot comb and curling iron
The thought of runny eggs for breakfast
I couldn't stand eating eggs with stuff running out
Yuck!
I think I ate them, I had to
There was no choice
I watched children play in her backyard
Adults try to hold it together
I knew when I got home I would be ok
Weird looking at how many things match my comforter set
Shoe, sweaters...
I guess my grandmother knew too
She gave it to me as a Christmas present
I remember opening and thinking, "How did she know?"
So tonight as I cry myself to sleep
I'm wrapped up in her last gift to me.
The Thank-You That Brought Iyanla to Tears - Iyanla: Fix My Life - OWN
What a powerful moment. I watched last week and I knew I had to sit with my sons and watch again. I pray that when people view this video it really speaks to them. I'm still blown away by it.
Trying To Shake It Off - Loving This Taylor Swift Song
Back in August I knew Beyonce was going to perform on the MTV VMA's. That was about the only reason I was going to watch this show. I sit and wait and wait. While waiting I see some performances and I'm thinking, "What is music coming to?" When they introduce Taylor Swift I immediately think, "Oh, I should turn the channel. I don't listen to her." I can't, well couldn't name one Taylor Swift song until now.
As the performances goes along, I'm just nodding my head to the beat. My 3rd grader starts dancing. My thoughts wonder again, "What the h...?" Here we listen to Gospel Music, you know like Fred Hammond. We listen to Rap Music, Jay Z, Drake, Pac, Biggie. We listen to Beyonce and Brandy. Ok. Ok. That's a whole nother blog "How Fred Hammond, Jay, and Drake Get Me Through My Days".
But what we haven't listened to is Taylor Swift. I did some research. The demograpic of the people who would most likely listen to her music are white female college/graduate students. Where do I fall into that demographic. Female college/graduate student, who since 4th grade has attended schools with mostly white students. Hmmm..
At any rate, whenever Shake It Off comes on the radio it goes on blast. 0 to 100 real quick. Imagine that, my son and me riding through the urban streets of Cincinnati singing and dancing to this song. It's kinda crazy and fun. Seems like a moment straight out of the new show Blackish.
One day my son asked me when was I going to buy the song on iTunes. That way we can listen whenever we want to. I, um, well, you see I just........ What?
I should go ahead and buy it though. That's my jam!!
Maybe it's me who needs to shake it off, shake if off.
Step Out There
You will never know what you are capable of until you step out there and test the waters. You can sit and look at the water, you can talk to people about the water but you will never know how you operate in that water until you get out there in it.
How many opportunites have you not taken hold of because of fear? Ever heard, "I'm not good enough."or "I could never do that."? All of that self doubt has consumed you and your thinking. You have missed out on so much and time is of the essence. Time can't be retrieved. You have to move on to the next experience.
When you get to that experience and fear grips your mind say to yourself, "I am good enough." and "I can do that." Honor who God purposed you to be and get out there and test the waters. God not only has amazing things in store for you but guess what? He will even calm the waters when they get rough.
#LiveOnPurpose
Roland H Frazier - Resting In Our Father's Arms
When I finally came to my senses early Sunday morning on September 14 I sat numb as I heard the tears of my adult child and couldn't imagine telling my younger son later. We sat in the dark after we spoke with Roland's family. No words. There was nothing to say. There was nothing we could say.
Roland passed on to glory after being shot while breaking up a fight.
Later on that morning after tossing and turning I tried to complete some work and my younger son wakes up and I have to tell him that his uncle, who he recently spent time with was no longer here. My child just looked at me and out of nowhere my other son appears in my room and says, "Let's go to church." I hurried because I knew this was urgent for him, hard for him. The rest of the day we all stayed together. After church we were so worn, so drained. Still in shock. Numb.
What we knew, if we knew nothing else, was that we would be in Beckley for the upcoming weekend. It has a weekend both emotional and beautiful. I'm trying to see what pulled at my heart so much. Roland was my 23 year old brother-in-law. People just simply loved him. When we first met it was like meeting a friend of my son's and his smile simply lit up wherever he went. I knew that I had to celebrate his life with family. I knew I had to worship God for giving this young man a good life, as was shown by the outpouring of love and support.
The tears I shed are for the senseless death. The pain he may have suffered. The life yet to live. The journey abruptly ending. The pastor at Heart of God Ministries (Beckley, WV) shared with us that the last time he saw Roland he was at the church sitting in the choir stand. I believe the lives of so many young people in that city are going to turn around because of Roland's passing. Even though it doesn't feel right we know that all things work together.
It was hard for those who loved and knew Roland to say goodbye but it was beautiful knowing that Roland is where many of us strive to be. Resting in our Father's arms.
 |
| Arriving At Roland's Final Resting Place |
Praying For The Family of Mike Brown
This morning I'm up getting ready for the day. It my sons first day of school of the school year. One in elementary and one in college. Today is also the funeral of Mike Brown who was killed in Ferguson, MO. That is not lost on me. As they get dressed, eat breakfast and prepared to leave home I realize that they are African American boys who although intelligent and crazy talented they will encounter things that I can't imagine.
On this day I think of Mike Brown, Trayvon Martin, and Jordan Davis. I pray for their familes and their friends who are left to mourn and wonder "What if?" In so many ways my sons are them. I stay aware of that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
-
I really don't get into reality shows, especially competitions. But occassionaly I venture and watch BET Sunday's Best. Why? I love ...
-
Do our boys matter? In a time when African American boys are being incarcerated and murdered at alarming rates one pastor has bold...