Just Where I Am

Where I am in my life is quite interesting. I have been a believer in God for years. I've been practicing mindfulness for a couple of years. This summer I began a keto eating lifestyle and I feel really good about that. I am entering in my 4th week of a self-care challenge and I am realizing a couple of things about myself. 

One, is that I am not stressing over things that are not stressing over me. Well, what exactly does that mean Arlinda? I'm glad you asked. My energy is mine to have and mine to give out. If I give that energy out and it's disregarded or taken advantaged of, I'm now inclined to take my energy back and distance myself from what does not make me feel good about myself.

I had someone recently tell me that I need to let people know when their actions make me feel some kinda of way. I guess that's a good idea but that's not where I am. It's better for me to distance myself, process what happened and keep it moving. I'm just not here for having the same conversations over and over. How often have we heard, "If you can't change the people around you, change the people around you."? Change is necessary.

The second thing is this notion of "fitting in"? In my self-care challenge it has been magnified that I've constantly had my hand up yelling, "Look up at me! I can do this! I can do that! Pick me!" Whether it's in ministry, at work, in friendships or in potential relationships. I know my skill set, I'm quite aware of my resume, I know my worth and I know who God has called me to be. It's time out for trying to fit into social circles that don't edify me and uplift my gifts and talents. Plus I absolutely refuse to dumb down for anyone. Again, my resume. 

So, if anyone notices a difference in how I operate, in how I am no longer concerned about whether or not you pick me, that I'm cool with being not so busy trying to please others, it's just where I am. I'm just taking care of myself.  

Namaste

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Jesus Culture - My One My All ft. Chris McClarney (Audio)

Woman Evolve 2018 ~ I Didn’t Think I Had That Many Tears To Cry

This is my first blog about Woman Evolve 18. I've posted on Fb and IG but it has taken me a while to get my thoughts on paper. Hopefully I'll get all of my pics and videos up soon. What started as me listening to Pastor Sarah Jakes-Roberts' podcast, ok I had only listened to one. After listening I subscribed to her website and that is where I learned about Woman Evolve. On July 12 I traveled to Denver knowing that God had something in store for me.

There were so many takeaways. Two were really huge. Like really huge.

During the Second Session on Friday night we were looking forward to the Pajama Session. Imagine over 1200 women dressed in their pjs worshipping and making new friends. It was super cool but before the Pajama Session and after Praise and Worship something happened. I promise you the tears are forming as I reflect. We knew the Jakes family was in the building but....

This video plays with clips of Woman Thou Art Loosed, Pastor TD Jakes with Pastor Sarah Jakes-Roberts and then footage from Pastor Sarah speaking at the morning session. I was outdone from the morning already. My heart was beyond full. The video basically showed how Woman Evolve was birthed out of Woman Thou Art Loosed and then Pastor TD Jakes took the stage.

Hold up!! I didn't sign up for this level of excitement. I'm 48 and Pastor Jakes has been that figure that I watched on TBN, CNN and The Word Network for years. He's told me that if people want to leave, let them go. He's told me to get ready, get ready, get ready, get ready. I had never heard him live and now, I couldn't contain the notion that God thought enough of me to send me to Denver. I'm standing there with tears just streaming down my face. One of the points I remember Pastor Jakes saying was, "You could have stayed home to go to the next level you came to Denver to go to another dimension." Honestly at that point my summer was complete I was in the mountains with the Jakes family. Lol.

Now about those tears. There were 4 main sessions and during each session I cried and I cried. It became so bad that I had to buy some Motrin because my head was hurting so bad. Just when I thought I go it all out at one Main Session the next one had me looking for tissue. I honestly didn't know I had that many tears to cry. I didn't realize that I was still carrying hurt and disappointment. I didn't realize how much I needed to be alone in Denver while attending Woman Evolve.

Pastor Toure' Roberts said something on that Saturday about evolving. He stated that when you evolve you are returning to the original purpose God has for you. With tears I can tell you that the impact of Woman Evolve blew me away. Those tears that fell have been held back for various reasons, some I'm not even aware of, but through that experience the course of my life has turned right back to the Creator. He knew me before I was formed in my mother's womb. He knew my journey and the outcomes of my decisions. He knew that I would get to the point where I would throw up my hands and surrender and He was there as He has always been. He knew I would return to Him evolved.