On Wednesday I went looking for the "
Headwinds" sermon by Pastor Sarah Jakes-Roberts. I found the entire service online and I tried to fast forward to her preaching. I bypassed her sister praying, the music ministry, all of it to get to where I could hear this incredible message for the 3rd time. As soon as I see her, I select play but what happened when I pressed play blessed my life. Before Pastor Sarah begins her message she says, "I believe God wants to do something in this place that has something to do with our insides." Then she asked Maranda Curtis to sing "
Let Praises Rise".
Earlier this week God spoke to me and He simply said, "You've allowed the wrong people to get inside of you." I kept thinking about what it meant for the negative energy and negative words that I have allowed to invade my space. The key is that, while I'm learning to be gentle with myself, I allowed it. I allowed it to happen even when past experiences told me that pain was a possibility. In allowing that I put my heart in the way of hurt. What I was allowing on the inside manifested on the outside. Self-doubt, low self-esteem, brokenness.
Lately I have been spending quiet time with God daily and allowing Him to speak to me. In my heart I believe He sent me to find this song because after I heard it I found it on YouTube a couple of times. Though it was when I saw Maranda's video I stopped, bought it on
i-Tunes and searched for the lyrics. I thank God for loving me so much that He would direct me on the path that gives me what I need at the moment that I need it.
Some of the words just grab at my heart. There's a set of lyrics that end with the word "inside" and the more I listen, the more I want this for myself. I want His praises to rise, I want Him to be delighted, I want my life filled. Oh, and yes, I want to be on fire from the inside.
Let praises rise from the inside
May You delight from the inside
Come fill my life from the inside
Set me on fire from the inside
Lately at work we've been pushing changing mindsets and being mindful. In this present moment I want to change self-doubt to hope, low self-esteem to high self-confidence, brokenness to peacefulness.
Cause all I want
is for You
For You to be glorified
For You to be lifted high
Now, that part of the song. It weakens me to the point where I realize that all I want is for God to be glorified and lifted up in what I do, in how I live my life, in all things. So now that some things have been moved out of the way, I simply want God to:
Fill my heart till they all they see is You oh Lord,
Glorify Your name.
No matter where I am. No matter what I'm doing, I need God to fill my heart to the point where when I show up there He is.
Cause all I want
is for You
For You to be glorified
For You to be lifted high