One Night with the King (Juanita Bynum)

Just wanted to share. I have such a love and appreciation for music. I saw this video on the Word Network last year and it has stayed with me.

One night with the King truly changes everything.

Lindar

Forgiveness

In the 1990's I had a wonderful manager at the phone company. She was very centered in astrology and being holistic. She was also a dynamic cook. For the 4th of July one summer she invited the entire staff over to her home. There are two things that I remembered, one she kept the ice tea coming. While we were drinking ice tea she was boiling more in a pot. I thought how cool is that. Never thought it was that simply until I saw the process.

As I walked about her home I noticed a bag of stones and a book. I asked her about them and she told me they were ancient runes. She suggested I think of something that was going on in my life and pull a stone from the bag. I pulled the stone of Serenity. The book provided information about serenity and that was my first encounter with the serenity prayer.

For Christmas that year Bonnie gave me the exact same book and bag of runes, that I still use to this day. The past few weeks, actually the past year has been a test for me. So I decided to pull a rune to speak to those situations. I pulled the rune of Forgiveness tonight.

The passage in the book told me that I have to forgive myself as I heal and then I have to forgive others. You know you can be in a situation and place blame on others and not see what part you played in that situation. Tonight as I begin to heal from the failed marriage and the broken friendships I have to remember to be forgiving of myself for harm or pain I may have caused to others. Maybe when the marriage ended I didn't take that time to take care of me and so the wounds were still open causing more hurt to me and to others.

Remember to take out the time to see yourself in your situations. It isn't always the other person's fault entirely, you always have to look at the part you played also.

Be forgiving of yourself.

Lindar

CDF Cradle to Prison Pipeline® Initiative Slideshow

About four years ago I taught at a mental health facility. As part of my orientation into the program I was shown this video. It immediately brought me to tears.

Sometimes as parents, educators, and community members we have to ask ourselves critical questions about our youth today. To say they are in a crisis is an understatement.

I ask that you view this video and really listen to the words of this song by Yolanda Adams. We need to pray for our youth and for the parents who are raising them.

In His Will
Lindar

Snow Day

Our city has been hit very hard this week between several inches of snow and an ice storm. Our school district has been out of school for two days and tomorrow will make three. What has been the best part of these snow days is the quality time I have spent with my sons.

We have cooked together, camped out in the living room and played indoor basketball. Now that Ty is learning new words, we have to shoot hoops with the songs on loud. That translates into turn up the radio mommy. Oh! We have watched more than our share of Noggin.

If I can say one important thing about my life, I can say that I love being a mother. I could not imagine not making sure they went to bed at night or waking them up in the morning.

So many parents disregard their children, abuse their children, or place them in foster care for selfish reasons. Children aid our growth as people. I remember when my oldest was born I had no clue what it meant to be a mother and I was and am very fortunate to have strong women in my family as role models. My mother was definitely the model but she made sure I carried out my responsiblities.

Our lives are so busy with school, work and sports. Seldom do we have time just to be, the three of us, uninterrupted. These snow days are more than us not having to leave the house to go to school and work it truly has been our time to reconnect and revisit our fun and love for each other.

Happy Snow Day

Lindar

Keep Your Head Up

I have to be honest and say that I hear this song at very interesting parts of my life. It just came on the radio and I had to add it to my blog.

This song represents so much to me, means so much to me. It would be so easy for me to give up persuing my dreams and raising my superstars but I know that God has a plan for me and for them. So I know I have to continue to press my way through.

Not everybody understands, not everybody gets it, but deep in my heart I know that everything that I have been through and am going through if for a greater good.

So when life deals me lemons I have to make the best lemonade I know how. And when people directly and indirectly try to bring me down. I have to remember to keep my head up.

Be Blessed
Lindar

Never Let A Man Call You A B....

In the movie Notorious there is a scene when B.I.G. is sitting with his daughter and he receives a phone call. In that call he makes some negative comments to one of his love interests. He then looks at his daughter and realizes that he has to tell her something important. Some information that will help her in dealing with men.

He puts his daughter on his lap and tells her to never let a man call her a b.... Wow! That was one of those moments when I began to reflect on my relationships with men. I don't know if I have one of those memories where I was told, by my father, that being called a b.... was not a good thing to do. I am not saying that he didn't. I am saying that I do not remember.

Over the years I have been involved in relationships where I was not valued. If I did not do something the other person wanted I was either a b.... or I was acting like one. That scene from the movie has stayed with me all tonight, and into the early morning, as I really think about particular situations I have been in. By being called a b.... have I allowed men to come into my life and chip away at my self-worth, my self-confidence to the point that I am numb to being called such names.

I share my blog with others, friends and family alike, and in doing so I become transparent and brutally honest about my experiences. I don't know how that will sit. But on my road to recovery from dealing with men who come into my life and crushed my heart and my soul I have to get it, the pain, the hurt and the frustration, out. I remember sitting down with my aunt one evening. She told me that my experiences, with men, were not for me but for someone else. I am now ready to go and speak about my life. I know that I was put here for a reason, my purpose has been established.

I am not a bitch. I am not dumb and stupid. I am not fake nor phony. I am my parents' daughter. I am my sons' mother. I am attractive, smart, beautiful, and intelligent. I am a writer, a thinker, and a very creative soul. No longer will I settle for any man who will refer to me as anything but wonderful.

Be Blessed

Lindar

Biggie Smalls - Juicy [Music Video]

Biggie Smalls

Yesterday I went to the movies to see Notorious. I must say that I really enjoyed the movie and I felt that the movie was not simply about B.I.G. It also dealt with his relationships with his mother, his love interests and his daughter.

I have tremendous respect for his mother. By the end of the movie I was in tears and so was my friend. If I told you at what point that the tears came it may ruin the movie for you. I will say that in the end I believe Ms. Wallace realized that although her son had not finished school, like she may have wanted him to, he had touched many people with his stories. She was also able to stay strong for her son and his children through her own personal struggles and accomplishments.

My teenage son also went to the movie with us. I think it was important for him to see the movie with me. This music set the foundation for his introduction to hip hop. For years he would hear his father and me go crazy when "Juicy" came on. He definitely has a better understanding of why hip hop is important to society and his parents. It was so cool to sit with him and be able to discuss different points of the movie for clarity. I knew that when the movie came out he would be with me to view it.

I will see this movie again. It was truly an incredible movie. I knew a great deal about Mr. Wallace's life via magazines and interviews but seeing the movie put it all together in away that showed he wasn't just handed his title of one of the greatest rappers ever. He truly earned it and he truly deserves it. I think I will be 50 years old and still enjoy listening to his music. I will always love Big Poppa.

Lindar

Urban Poetry4

Something About His Swagger
Lindar

So many men and boys alike want that look
That image they perceive to be “in”
When they walk by they think people should stop and stare
And say “Who Is He?”
Well, my man does that effortlessly

I can be watching t.v. , reading or sitting
Waiting for him to emerge
I can only imagine other people thinking
“Is he yours?”

It’s just something about him that
Makes you stop and look back
There are days I stop and stare
Get completely off focus and lose my train of thought
To be honest a few times I was caught
In my amazement of who he is.

His walk makes you want to talk.
His eyes make you want to shine.
And please don’t let him trim up and put on an outfit.
You might not be ready for that moment.

All eyes are on him, from women and men.
He so him, he don’t even see it coming.
His presence can pierce your heart with a dagger.
Believe me when I say
It’s just something about his swagger.


©Lindar Publishing

UrbanPoetry3

My Black Butterfly
bruceWayne

“Yo! Do you see that?”

“It’s a rare lovely colored butterfly!”

“Please stop that red hearted true to love, Please!”

This a revolutionary warmth and kindness, according to belief of course!

So, I leap into the unknown, something seized my mind

A rare, lovely colored butterfly

My mind had a special plea

But the butterflies only gave gifts of music, love, poetry, science, nature, hugs, and goodness!

“Fine by me, why?” I was touched by a butterfly.

Stole a dance from my heart without asking.

Focus mind and body, to leap the universe to embark on a quest for a social conversation to cast a breeze, did not stop or preserve.

Express myself, all dangers are real, so my heart spoke out saying

“Oh butterfly, butterfly?”

She spoke replying, “What an awesome thing it is feelin’ oneself.”

On the verge of the possibility of really knowin’ another person.

I feel alone on a mountain, on the edge of a new world.

It could be dangerous probably just as like light she came and in a mist she was gone.

Fine by me. “Why?” “Because, I was touched by a butterfly.”

So bye-bye lady butterfly, I wish you peace, free mind and body, grace and goodness!

Live and let live. Lady butterfly.

Urban Poetry2

Hold Me Down
bruceWayne

Hold me down in this advance praise as we test the fellowship of love
Hold me down in this ongoing garden of powerful truth – as I will do you, boo.
So I can drop back and hold a great unique woman close to my heart.
She holds me down with experience
As she give gifts from the heart, as she holds me down I discover a spiritual calling that defines the meaning of true desires.
She holds us down with an illness of delightful faith, filled with goodness in a world of madness.
A heart that is warm and filled with love, keeps me….hold me down…baby
With no ordinary love and the magic blooms into a tune to give the very essence of real love.
Our garden of faith
I will hold you like the spirit of life in good humor side by side
In judgment, death, and darkness
Lead us into the light
Hold me down and I will keep you up.

Urban Poetry

Here is a poem written by an upcoming poet that I love so much. I just wanted to share it with you.

I Hope I Remember

bruceWayne

I hope I remember the second time around it’s the little things that count.
To keep you turned back to the love we have.
Keep comfortable in this tale there is an unforgettable large heart that seems like a dream.
She keeps me.
I hope I can remember to keep in mind that our next story line is a memorial beyond a gray sky.
A line to a waterfall across time and space.
My baby, remember to love me like a good novel.
Never put me down or forget to search and find the little things that make me smile.
Choose to change.
Imagine the little things cause I hope to remember a heavily blossom gives us enlightenment.

I must say the next time around I must remember the information that my heart is for the queen of the angels.
This I know, so I hope to remember how the little things keep you happy.
So if I don’t say, I hope these words help you to remember how much I love you.

Rev. Jerry D. Black Singing - Please be Patient with Me

I had to go back to my youth on this one. The gospel choir used to sing this song and I had no idea what they were talking about. But decades later I can honestly say I get it!!! When God gets through with me. I shall come forth as pure gold. The world better watch out;)

Mary J. Blige - Enough Cryin

On www.youtube.com I create playlists. Tonight I created one. I call it Mary. This song is speaking volumes to where I am and where I am going.

Gotta shout out to Ryan and Rasheeda(My Mary) for constantly holding me down and being painfully real with me daily.

Be Blessed

Prayer of Jabez

And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, "Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain." So God granted him what he requested.
I Chronicles 4:10 NKJV

Serenity Prayer

I so love this prayer and it has been on my heart.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful worldas it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things rightif I surrender to His Will;That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with HimForever in the next.Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

Quote from an email I received

"You are a living magnet. What you attract into your life is in harmony with your dominant thoughts." - Brian Tracy

Eagles Soaring

Do you ever have too many things to do in one day and you just can't figure out how to prioritize them? Well today was that day for me. To start my day off, I had to take my younger son to my grandmother's. If little pumpkin gets off his daily schedule is not a happy little person. After I had all the children where they needed to be I had three meetings at two different sites.

All the while I am thinking "What am I going to do about tonight's events?" My son had a home varsity game and my niece had a gospel choir performance all within thirty minutes of each other. I come home and think maybe I should just stay home. Naw!!!! I have stopped doing enough stuff lately, I can't add to it. Lion would definitely have a comment about that.

I text my son and tell him to have a good game and that I would be there at half-time. I needed the gospel concert. Like really bad. The audience was small at the concert when we first arrived. But the Word of God says that where two or three are gathered.....Hello.

This concert was completely awesome. I was so moved by the energy and the spirit of these high school students. I kept thinking of how different my life would have been now if I had heeded the Word of God as a teenager. These young people sung unto the Lord like Fred Hammond was coming on next. I felt so fortunate to be in their presence and so happy that my niece knows enough about who she is to even ask to participate in the choir.

By the time the event was over I was wondering "Where are they going to be next?" I will definitely be there, not only for support but to uplift myself. To my surprise my son, who was now in the gym playing basketball, attended the in school concert and was amazed at what he heard too. My son chose to attend a gospel event! How cool is that?!!!

I am so proud of both of them. They could be so discouraged about life and just sit around and do nothing. Yet they have found activities that showcase their talents and abilities. I am sure that is pleasing to God.

They are definitely soaring eagles. I am so proud of both them.

Lindar

Below is the link to Hezekiah Walker's "Grateful". The gospel choir sang!!!!! this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx_vdEZQnBc

Mother's Remedy

If yesterday was not the day from another planet I don't know what was. Have you ever been doing the best you can and yet negative energy comes from out of nowhere? This has been going on in my life for the past two months. Just one incident after another, it has truly been amazing to see unfold.


Yesterday I was told something about myself that I knew was totally untrue by a person who has never taken the time to learn any different. It sent me straight to tears for the rest of the morning. All I wanted was my mother. When I reached home she was the first person that I called. She gave me the lecture about how the enemy was coming at me from all sides and that I have to stay prayed up. I knew she would say that...I just wanted to hear her say it.

My mother told me it was okay to cry, I was doing so uncontrollably, and that I needed to make myself a cup of tea. Now that has been my mother's remedy for all of my ailments over the years. I remember being an adolescent suffering from colds, cramps, sore throats, or broken hearts and there she would be with a cup of Lipton Tea and toast. I now share that with my sons. Even my toddler will ask me for tea and when my older son is having to be soothed we go straight to the cabinet for a cup of tea.

Over the years tea has become a staple in my home. Lipton tea keeps me centered and ushers my mind back to those conversations with my mother that everything will be okay. In the words of my son's friend "I stay with that Lipton." But there are other teas that I simply love to drink; Teekanne - Rosehip and Hibiscus Flowers tea was introduced to me by my son's father. We used to drink it while we watched television together or just sat around the house talking. Because of my profession I often have to attend a lot of professional development meetings and that is when I drink Bigelow teas. My favorites are Lemon Lift and I believe the other is called Sweet Dreams. Don't tell anybody but if I see the Sweet Dream teas I take them all walking in the door. I have a difficult time finding this flavor in the local grocery stores. Shh!!!!!

Recently my son and I were out of town shopping and I came across this store Teavana. I was in instant heaven. A store that caters to my tea needs. Checkout the website. http://www.teavana.com/

Other websites to checkout include www.bigelowtea.com and www.lipton.com

Whether I am having a stressful day or I just want to sit and find my center you can bet that I reaching in the cupboard for the tea of my choice to soothe my soul.

Lindar

Light in His Eyes

While my son was in middle school he decided he wanted to play football. I let him. I didn't want to. During the football season his shoulder was injured and we believed with physical therapy everything was going to be fine.

During his freshman year he made the varsity basketball squad as a starter. He was a happy person until his shoulder began to bother him again. He tried to make it through the season. While playing in one game he noticed that his entire arm felt numb. His trainer sent him to a sports doctor who informed us that surgery was needed. The surgery was scheduled for February at which time we were given the news that he would not be able to play basketball until the end of July or August. The look that went across my son's face spoke volumes.

He has played basketball since kindergarten and now during his freshman year he could not even finish out the season and spring and summer basketball were out of the question. Having any surgery is no easy task for anyone and he went through some tough times physically and emotionally. It was as if a darkness had come over him and he couldn't shake it.

Near the end of summer last year he was cleared to play sports. He tried out again for his high school basketball team and made varsity. His team is having a good season. Last night they went into a game 6-0 against a highly city ranked team. My nerves were bad and I was concerned for him. Was he nervous? Is he worried about getting injured? So many questions.

I am no sports analyst so I can't give you a play by play of the game. I did notice that after he turned the ball over in the first quarter he was very frustrated as if he could not get his head together and handle the ball. In my mind I am saying "Oh, Lord!"

At the beginning of the fourth quarter his team is down by 9 points. With three minutes left I begin to bundle up my toddler. I notice my son's team trying to get within 2 or 3 points of the other team. With a few seconds left they go for a shot and miss it, here comes my son with the rebound and a lay up to tie the game and send it into overtime. Wow! I see him coming back into his old self, confident and sure of his playing abilities. Now, that is the basketball player I am used to seeing.

As we were leaving the gym I heard someone close to my son say "I sure am glad to see the light back in his eyes." Well, I am too.

Lindar

I Am Ready

I have been away from my students for two weeks. Today starts a new day, a new quarter. I am so fortunate to work with amazing thinkers and writers. There is a core group of students who have become like a little family unit to me.

We keep in touch by texting or occasionally talking on the phone. Being off for two weeks definitely had its benefits. I was able to spend quality time with my sons and other family members. I rested for the most part.

But this morning I am ready to see those bright and shiny faces. When I first started teaching this school year my first thought was "What in the world am I doing here?" But over the months I have laughed and cried with them. Some of them keep me laughing so hard that I have to leave the room sometimes to get myself together.

They don't don't see what I see. So much potential, so much talent. I am up getting ready to go to a place that at the end of the day I don't mind going back too.

Lindar