Thursday, September 14, 2017
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
As a new journey begins I have to reflect on the one that ended. I’ve used the words heartbroken and shattered soul to describe what I experienced within the first half of this year. It seemed to begin to come to an end when Mary released #strengthofawoman I remember the last conversation he and I had and I remember getting my phone out and blasting this song and that is when I really listened to the lyrics of Indestructible. I was living this song word for word.While I am far from perfect, the words that he said to me hurt deeply and I questioned myself for days and weeks to come. I had to reflect on my value. I had to sift through my hurt and figure out where I was. I was missing, I went to dark places all because he didn’t know how to deal with his pain, so he tried to put it all on me. But it wasn’t my load to carry.
It’s been nearly two months since that day and while I am healing, I pray that God keeps my heart covered and that I don’t go back to that place. The hardest part is knowing that he is battling a terminal illness but even that doesn’t give him permission to do to me what can’t be undone.
God sent a squad of angels to gathered those shattered pieces of my soul, to pray over me and to simply let me fall apart and cry in their arms.Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.
This morning I woke up a happier person and then I saw the scripture for the day was Romans 8:28.
Joy has come.
For that I’m grateful.Think about how valuable you are. Don’t let what he put you through cause you to close your heart. #indestructible #maryjblige
Sidenote.. I actually wrote this late Monday night but for some reason when I woke early Tuesday morning I deleted it off my Fb notes and I heard a voice say, "Blog This!"
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Is it too early to talk about trash? Well, how about paper plates? We use them generally for large gatherings because after we use these plates we can discard them. We just pile all of the paper plates in a garbage bag that eventually gets put outside. See, if I wanted some paper plates I could send my son to UDF or Family Dollar, a convenient store. It’s just up the street.Not far away.
Easy to get to.Paper plates?
Easily thrown away.
But let’s just say I wanted fine china. I love my son but I’m not sending him for this purchase, there are too many decisions that have to be made. I’m going to pick the dishes out myself. It won’t be a convenient trip. I’ll need to travel to go and purchase this item. I’ll have to go to Macy’s or Dillard's. Once I get there I’ll be met with beautiful selections. After I make my purchase I can’t just throw the dishes in the trunk. No, fine china is packaged differently. It’s boxed and often has material in between the dishes so that they are not easily broken when transported. I don’t know about you but I’m packaged different. I brag different. #thatwillpreach
You have to start asking yourself how are you allowing people to treat you? Like paper plates or fine china?
It has to be handled differently.
Paper plates vs. fine china, convenience vs. being valued, trash vs. treasure, Family Dollar vs. Macy's. It’s time to put folk on notice. You are not to be easily discarded, just thrown away at one’s convenience. You are God’s chosen. You are royalty. In a world of paper plates be fine china. Be valued. Be treasured. Be that good and perfect gift.
Now if you encounter a person, or people, who only want paper plates, simply say to yourself, “If that’s all you want.” Then proceed to throw up the peace sign and keep it moving. God has more for you. He has better for you. Nothing against paper plates but desire that exceedingly and abundantly that God has predestined for you. Surround yourself with people who value you, who are good friends to you and desire for you to be happy. Time out for the paper plates.
Thursday, August 10, 2017
We often teach that if you are struggling through something
That is a good thing
Ummm….. I really don’t want to hear that right now
I just want to run from it
Though running from it won’t aid me in growing through it
But running from it will help me avoid
Coming out of my comfort zone, even if it’s not too comfy right now
That feeling that sometimes creeps in of not being good enough
Even when I know I am more than enough
I really want to run away through some lavish lavender fields
To a beautiful cottage by a lake
Like in the storybook I read in my youth
But it’s not a storybook
And I don’t know where any cottages are
Let alone a lake
And the lavender fields have bloomed and been sold
So where do I run to?
Do I run?
Should I run?
It could all be so simple
But it’s not because
I have learned that if you don’t go through your experiences
And get the lesson
You end up repeating the lesson until
You stop running
And simply allow the lesson to unfold
The most interesting thing about this lesson
It’s patient with me
It teaches me constantly
It encompasses me with a strength that’s protective
It guides me
It supports me
Yet, I want to run from it
There’s this theory that if I run
Disappointment will never have a chance to set in
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
This I dedicate to Mr. Ridgley.....
I pray that all things work out for you.
I pray that all things work out for you.
Remind me again why you returned to my life?
No, seriously entertain me with your answers.
How many times can you crush my heart?
Attempt to drown my spirits?
Exactly how many times?
You’ve done it 3 times.
The last was the charm.
Did you really pack up and tell me you were going back?
The last 10 months of this?
Part of the almost 20 years of this?
And this is how you rock with me?
I've sat in ICU praying over you.
I've held your hand on the cancer floor.
Listening to your heart cry.
Wiping away the pain, the anguish.
I’ve been there as you deal with tubes, scars and uncertainties.
And you decide that I don't treat you like a man.
That once again the hell with me and you go back?
Again… Oh, and leave you alone. Don't talk to you.
You know what? You're real smart, quite the intelligent soul.
I gotta question for you.
Do you know whose daughter I am? Tsk...
You know I'm a King’s kid? Right? Please don't get it twisted me and my Daddy tight.
He don't take kindly to the mistreatment of his own.
Especially when they are anointed and created on purpose for purpose.
I ain't even gonna hit you with "you gonna reap what you sow'.
Nah, that's too easy for you.
How about the enemy will be made your footstool?
Or remember how quickly you got up through….Submit to God, Resist the devil and he will flee.
As I draw close to Him, He draws close to me.
You're double minded
Not even realizing that the favor that rested on me was falling on you.
You ever wonder why the doctors were amazed at your recovery?
You were anointed and prayed over daily.
But you... With your selfish unappreciative self.
You leave carnage on your journey and you don't give one damn about anyone but yourself.
I'm gonna do you a favor.
Imma pray really hard because you're gonna need it.
The price you're about the pay…
For the pain, hurt...
Man… You got your out
but the repercussion for this?
You may just have to pay with the very thing you're fighting for.
Matthan and I met several years ago at our pastor's house. It took a while for us to warm up to each other but once we did we realized we had a lot in common. We both love God and our birthdays are in November. When we initially met he was going through some life changing situations, one was changing his name. I remember when he told me what he was changing his name to.... Matthan. Hmm... Not to long passed before I came up with the phrase, "My friend Matthan."
One of the things that I love about him is his sense of style. This brother always has cool accessories, socks, ties, you name it. I remember seeing him with some bracelets on one day. I was so drawn to them that I asked for them. Yes, I did. He told me no while he also told me where he bought them and what they meant. So I pushed, well go buy some more bracelets. It could all be so simple. lol I don't remember the day but one day he gave me a set of bracelets similar to his and I was so happy.
Possibly what I didn't know was how much they would mean to me. I wear them a lot and I don't care if they match my outfit. They mean more to me than being coordinated. There is a certain peace that I receive from wearing them. It's that same peace I receive from my friendship with Matthan.
I've been on a journey lately and he was one of those people that checked in on me almost daily and that meant a lot because we are all busy with our lives. So, if someone just takes the time to say, "Hey, you ok?" or "How are you?" that means that friendship is based on something solid. Within the past weeks the journey has taken a different turn and he has been there and I've worn those bracelets almost everyday. I have them on now. Peace is so important to me.
On this past Sunday I dragged myself to church. Like literally. It was rough. I saw Matthan up front worshiping and I was glad because I didn't want him near me. After worship he walks to the back and he sees me.... I pretty much fell apart in his presence. He let me cry on his shoulder and he prayed over me and encouraged me. It brings me to tears as I reflect on that moment right now. I kind of knew that would happen. I probably needed that to happen.
I thank God for him. I thank God for taking us through our storms and differences, it's made our friendship stronger so that we can be supportive of each other through the good and bad times. There are so many cool things happening for him and that are going to happen for him. I'm so appreciative of God for blessing me with my friend Matthan.
Friends, how many of us have them... Ones you can depend on.
Friends, how many of us have them... Ones you can depend on.
Monday, June 19, 2017
Last Tuesday I awoke early in the morning. For some reason I was led to Instagram. One of the first posts I came across was the one above from Pastor John F. Hannah. I had to rub my eyes. Did his post really say that he would be praying at 4 in the morning? Yes, it did and it was in a matter of minutes that I received the Periscope notification that Pastor Hannah was live. I thought to myself, I guess he's going to pray for the people.
Yes, I selected the notification and what I experienced at five in the morning here, 4 in the morning there was... well an experience.... an encounter. One that almost a week later is still on my mind.
I think what I found most surprising was the amount of people in the sanctuary. It was a lot, more than I anticipated. I began to wonder, what has driven this many people to come to pray at four in the morning. That's just one pic, it was nearly 500 or more of us online. To God Be The Glory. You mean to tell me that I wasn't alone? That I was amongst people who were in need of prayer? And pray he did!!!!
I don't even know if I made it to the end of prayer service but whatever had me vexed in my sleep had disappeared and I slept through the rest of the night. It was a peace that came over me that I had desired and fortunately for me it showed up in my IG news feed.
Monday, June 12, 2017
I saw Ms. Robbie's work when I organized my first Women's Worship Encounter. I knew one day I would have her design something for me. Well.. four events later I finally did it, it has literally been 4 years since I initially emailed her. I guess everything has it's perfect timing.
It includes colors that I absolutely love, lavender and gray. The font is so Arlinda, kinda cute and sophisticated. As I looked at the design I had to ask Ms Robbie about the meaning. It's a dove surrounded by wings, you're ready to fly.
Hmmm... I wonder if a certain friend could design a t-shirt for me.
I'm in the second week of summer break and I feel a sense of blah. I’m having a hard time sitting still and being content with life. The past 5-6 months have been filled with family, church, work, grad school and other really cool activities. I hosted small group at my home. I joined a national teaching sorority. My son completed the 5th grade really well. I incorporated my companies. The school year ended well for the students at the program in which I teach. For all intents and purposes I should feel a sense of accomplishment. Right? Nope.
Even my 11 year old noticed it last week when he told me, you seem bored when you’re not in school. Ugh!!!!! What is wrong with me that I’m at my best when I am busy beyond belief? Or at least I seem to be anyway? Maybe being busy keeps me from dealing with the one thing that I brush over the most. Me.
Two years ago I lost 65lbs and unfortunately I gained most of it back and I’m only in the dumps about it when I put on some of the really cute clothes I bought last year, and they are a tad snug or I look at items that have not been worn since last summer just kinda hanging in the closet. #sigh #nowwhat
Maybe I expected more. Losing the weight and achieving all of my accomplishments were supposed to be this magic key to unlock this place of contentment and happiness that I thought I was missing as I looked at what everyone else was enjoying. It almost seemed as if I didn’t fit into some spectrum that I thought being smaller and more accomplished would put me in. Heck, check the date, I have not blogged in forever. I’ve even been scared to write my truth. Talk about avoidance.
Now I have to pray and make next steps that benefit that woman God brought to earth and my parents named Arlinda because I did all of that and I did it well….. Now what?
Monday, April 17, 2017
Friday, March 31, 2017
|image obtained from Pinterest|
Yesterday I'm sitting in a meeting and we are talking about all of the things that have happened over Spring Break. One of the big topics was the tragedy at Cameo Night Club. My friend shows us a picture of one of the shooting victims. In his post he spoke about how his day had began fine and ended in a way never imaginable. The picture was gruesome. To be honest I don't even know what I was looking at besides his bloodstained tattoos. Then I heard my friend say something to the extent, "Why would you show your wounds on Facebook?" Immediately I said, "That'll preach!"
I got out a piece of paper and wrote down the title given to me from my friend, whom we both love to get on each other's nerves. Then our other friend told me I had to put a scripture to it. I jumbled over it for a minute. lol For His wounds.... By His stripes.... Then she said it.
But He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him and with his stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5 KJV
I can't even begin to imagine what this man was thinking as he lay bleeding from a gunshot wound not intended for him but in his post he gave thanks to God. It got me thinking about my life and what I post. If you know me, you know I love my sons, my church, Jesus, and to dine out when I'm out of town. You know that my favorite scripture is Romans 8:28 and that the Capital Grille is my favorite restaurant. Why can't I tell you that I'm hurting, that my heart was recently shattered and some days it's hard to deal with? Why can't I tell you that on some days I'm hurting so badly and if it wasn't for these beautiful sons of mine and my constant, and I mean constant, cries out to God I don't know what I would do.
Why can't I share my wounds? I never want anyone to think my life to be perfect and awesome on a daily basis. Truth be told some days I'm a hot mess. On those days I need my Yolanda Adams and Fred Hammond songs to worship me through. Now, I get it. There is the school of thought that there are somethings that are not to be shared on social media. I counter that with then why share anything at all?
Just this week I've read about women, who I don't even know, committing suicide. They had families that loved them and everyone had echoing posts, "If anyone needs helps or someone to talk to, just say so." Sometimes social media is that vehicle for some people to cry out for help or in the young man's case to share his experience on how good God is.
That post with over thousands of likes is going to bless someone, send someone into worship and let them know that if God protected and kept him then He will do it for me too.
Sending prayers to heaven to all of the lives directly impacted by so much tragedy in our city this week.